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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Hive Mind by Slipknot
4:50 6:21 onwards describes everyone siding with and defending the main person at the centre of my Cptsd and other psychological problems without even trying to look at it from my perspective or listen to my side of it and saying similar things which are almost just as hurtful and just bring back all the pain and memories and keep the trauma alive.
Guess I may have more relatability to this song than I thoughtā¦ maybe thatās why itās one of my favourites?
Itās never fun to have people around you unwilling/uncapable of grasping/trying to grasp your perspective, and siding with only one side of things. You have every right to feel the way you feel, and deserve to be seen by the people around you. Thanks for sharing your experience and how you relate! Please feel free to share more if you ever want/need. <3
Iām so very sorry that people in your life have sided with someone who hurt you and is at the origin of your complex ptsd. Itās heart shattering already when someone supposed to love and protect you happened to hurt you. It takes such a LOT of tears already, a lot of wasted time, and surviving through bad days to come to the point of acknowledging your traumas and naming it. But it adds such a new layer of pain when other people, whom you trust, take side in favor of the person who did something wrong. Itās like your finally get to the point of daring to share your voice for it to only be silenced and reduced to nothing. It makes you question everything all over again, and at the core of it your ability to trust others with yourself. It feels like an ultimate mark of betrayal, as if people in front of you were navigating through a completely different reality, almost like they were part of a different world. While on your end you know, every single day, the cost of what this person did and of living with the consequences of it. You are the one who knows, you are the one who has to deal with this pain you never asked forā¦ and they dare to deny it. Just brutal.
Dealing myself with complex ptsd, my heart goes out to you so freaking much. Once about a year and half ago, my sister and I confronted our parents to our pain, to the violence we suffered growing up, and their reactions felt like hitting the nail on the coffin. On the positive side, it reinforced my willingness to stay off contact and keep my distances. It reassured this part of my brain that was still feeling loyal to them somehow, that I didnāt have to anymore. But on the other hand, it was certainly one of the most devastating interactions weāve had all together. Itās hard when you are confronted to the fact that people can be in such denial that they donāt even see you anymore with their own eyes. They fear reality, truth and accountability so much that they prefer to dismiss your pain. Which may or may not be conscious, but the result remains the same: it hurts like hell and feels like absolute betrayal when you are the one who needs support and recognition.
If anything, I see you and I hear you today. Your pain is valid, no matter what anyone would say to dismiss that reality. When doing so, what they express are their struggles, their inability to cope with such brutal reality. But it doesnāt say anything about you, about your story, and even less about the validity of how you feel. I hear and understand the subtlety of the pain that resides behind the term āc-ptsdā, and even though we donāt know each other, you certainly have my full support as you are learning to reclaim your life and as you share your voice. Thank you for doing it here, thank you for making it through dark days, thank you for trying and pursuing in living a life that will feel safe and fulfilling for you. You deserve all the best. Hold fast.
This all very much ties into my comment on the āthe devil in Iā reaction video, so while I can understand why they wouldnāt want to believe me and see this totally different side to the person that was kept behind closed doors and was really only shown when no one else was around, itās still very frustratingā¦
so glad I have my friend that has been able to see the truth and is willing to let me vent to her as much as I need. It Can definitely be a big helpš@@HeartSupport
ā@@HeartSupport it very much ties into my comment on the āthe devil in Iā reaction video so while I can understand why they wouldnāt want to believe me and see this other side of her that was usually kept behind closed doors and only showed when no one else was around but itās still frustratingā¦. So happy that I have my friend who could see it and is willing to listen and just let me vent as much as I need. Can be a great help sometimes.
