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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Save Me by Jelly Roll
57 and not sober. I drink way too much. A 2 time widower with way too many memories I wish I could forget. As well as a 2 time combat deployed veteran. This song is a living embodiment of how I feel
Take the first step….go to a meeting. Doesn’t have to be AA., can be N.A. or another recovery meeting….you will be embraced with arms wide open and it’ll be the first step to healing! You’ve got this!
Brother, thank you for your service! Don’t give up. I’ve been where you are. It can get better.
I never joined the service because even as a young man I knew I would never come back “right”. I have so much respect and admiration for the folks that do, and so much empathy for when they come back. I’m trying to be sober myself, and I don’t even have a valid reason to not in comparison to most anyone who has served. None the less all I do is keep trying, and I hope you do to because if nothing else we’re all human, and all we can do is our best. Thank you for your service, thank you for putting yourself out there, and I’m sorry for the things you’re going through. I can’t even imagine.
Thank you for your service. My cousin is a Marine that was Kia in Iraq in 03. Lots of boys didn’t make it home. Don’t give up man. You’re a warrior. If you won’t fight for yourself then fight for your brother’s who didn’t come home. Live the life they didn’t get to. Take that step man. You’re worth more than you know. God bless you brother.
You have to be one of the strongest motherfuckers ever to still be kicking after all that. I wouldn’t have survived half of it. Such an unimaginable weight you carry.
I just want to give you a big hug. 
It makes sense to want to forget and escape all these memories, all the images of what you’ve seen and endured, friend. Not being sober for now does not manifest any sign of failure on your part - only how hard it is to be human beings in such a messy world sometimes. It’s so hard when it feels like entire mind becomes a cage in which you’d be imprisoned with things you never wanted to know in the first place. You know it’s there, part of your story, and there’s no way to escape it really. Somehow, you feel deep inside that the right way forward is to learn to sit with it, look at the face of your traumas, and walk through it in order to heal. But damn, it’s so hard to do this intentionally, knowing that it’s going to freaking hurt. The first reaction is to want to avoid it any cost, so you learn to cope and survive just as you can, with the means that you have at your disposal.
I don’t know if there are people by your side, in your life, whom you trust and are of support to you - but whether or not that’s the case, you absolutely deserve to have allies by your side, friend. Sometimes the path we’re on feels absolutely soul crushing, to the point that we need to welcome trustworthy and healthy people in our own world, so they can use their strength with and us and for us. There is absolutely no shame for struggling, for feeling, for being human, and there is no shame either in asking for help. By posting here, you are looking at your pain directly, you are acknowledging it and naming it, and hopefully this very action of sharing your own vulnerability would be a step that would pave the way towards many others - towards healing. Where you are, how you feel, where everything seems to be stuck and only moving downards - you are not meant to stay there for the rest of your life. There is hope, there are better things ahead, there is healing and overcoming. I believe in you and in your ability to fight for your future, for you.
-Marie-Anne, Heartsupport Staff