It´s been a long time since the last time I came here and I really hope that you are doing well, in my case I am better than before but there is somenthing that still haunt me for the last 6 months.
In the first months of 2022, the friend that I trusted the most, said that she didnt want to be friends anymore, she said really hurtfull things, like the friendship was toxic, that she would be calm, that maybe this wont be happening if she was 100% okay. That time she told me that maybe in the future things would change, but weeks later we agreed to see each other and we talked and she told me, that when she told me that “in the future things would change” it was only to not to break me more. And that broke me in piece. That day I told her some things I didnt have to and I write her saying sorry for what I have told her, but she didn´t say sorry for what she have say.
In the following months we didnt talk, but I give her good luck when she have to do presentation in class. And I still think, I wasnt good enough?.
But in the last day of class we had an exam and she send me a Whats App message asking me if I could share with her one documment that we had and that broke me more. It true that after that message she told me that she wanted to say her goodbyes because she didnt know when we will see each other again. I didnt go to see her because I was heartbroken that she wrote me for somenthing, with no How are you? or I am sorry.
Now that the class are over for good, still I didnt recieve a sorry from her and I know that she have seen at least twice my instragram stories ( I created a new acount I have it public and she dont follow me) it is wrong to want a simple sorry?
I am better than months before, but the words still haunt me and think I wasnt good enough as a friend? Maybe I deserved what she say to me?
Sorry if it is long, my friends told me that she didnt deserve me and she didnt see me as a friend and my therapist told me that she was proud of everything I have done for that “friendship” but I am still heartbroken.
friendship break-ups are the toughest heartbreaks, my friend. i’m so sorry you’re feeling it all through 2022 with no true closure or anything. it took a lot of confidence from her though to expect you’ll share class documents like nothing ever happened… i can understand how this only shattered you further. it was just last year when my own best friend of 11 years decided she wanted different friends (mainly because i rarely drink), and it was a hard process to give her that space and let her go completely because it was only destroying me. i then spent more time and gave more love towards the friends who appreciated me. would an approach similar to mine of focusing on your kinder friends work with you?
through it all though, i believe in you to persevere and surround yourself with people who truly support and love you, who want the best for you. friends come and go in life, that is a sure constant. but there are some friends who stick for life so i hope you can find those friends along your journey. you got this, maisnow.
Hello Maisnow, welcome back. I’m sorry that you’re having problems with your friend. It’s not fair that she said hurtful things to you and then asked you to help her with school work. I hope that you can find friends that support you and make you feel good about yourself. Surround yourself people who care about you and treat you with respect. Take care! ~Mystrose
Hey friend! I just wanted to say that I’m sorry you had a person who treated you that way! ugh…that sucks a lot. BUT, I want to tell you that what they said about you isn’t true and you’re absolutely good enough. You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that at all…I promise.
One thing I have really been learning lately is that you can’t control what other people think. unfortunately, all you can do is control what you think and how you react to things. I understand it hurt that they said mean things and cut off the ‘friendship’, but I feel like that person must be in a place where they’re grappling with things inside of themselves and they’re taking it out on you. Friends will come and go throughout your life, and sometimes those relationships will end abruptly, but you just have to use that as a learning point for yourself. Appreciate the good times you had with the person, and decide what you learned from the bad parts, so you can avoid situations like that with new friends.
Hey Friend, good to hear from you again, I am so very sorry that you have had this difficult problem with your friend. It sounds like she has been hurtful to you and that is not nice but this is not a mean that you are not a good friend it means that maybe she was not a good friend or that maybe you both were just not suited as friends. Sometimes two people are just too different and move on to other things or people and that is ok however there are nice ways to do that and she could have been nicer to you. Please try not to take it to heart, it does not make you a bad person, I am sure you are an awesome person and a wonderful friend, you just need to find friends that respect you enough to treat you the way you deserve to be treated and you will find them. I wish you luck. Lisalovesfeathers x
Maisnow, I’m sorry that you are struggling with the loss of this friendship. From reading what you have said, it seems like you have done all you can to resolve the situation but the other person has no interest in remaining friends. That can be really painful to go through. I agree with your therapist that you have done what you can. Having expectations for a friendship and having those expectations not met can be difficult. Unfortunately we can’t control or even change sometimes how others feel about a friendship. That may likely have more to do with that person than with you. Sometimes you have to let go of what you wanted the friendship to be and move on. It hurts but at some point you need to forgive yourself for what you feel you contributed to the situation. You are worth this investment in yourself. Keep doing the work you are doing in therapy and let us know how you are getting on.
