It may sound too simple, I suck at it, not worth my time or you may even brush it off as you don’t take advice from others. Believe me I considered them to be true but over time I felt better and was proven wrong. Writing is the task I speak of. I sucked at writing and my earliest writings are laughable now but back then they were an outlet for all of the “I don’t want this life anymore” moments. Most of them I wrote and then never looked back at them but 6 months/a year down the road to look back at them and see what I was going thru and to realize I didn’t feel that dark as I used to. One big key to writing is you have to be RAW! I don’t mean write every little detail out, I mean writing exactly what you are feeling. Don’t substitute words or guess. Find the exact words. You will know if you are doing it right as you will feel it when writing it out. I have had many times I have had to take a moment to stop and try to collect myself as I would start crying that I couldn’t see to write, feel like my throat was going to close up on me or feel like there was a blackhole in my chest. THAT’S WHAT I MEAN BY RAW! My writing improved with time but I was only writing then I was nose deep in the stress and despair of my lonely life. There ended up being longer and longer gaps between my writings which said one thing, writing it out even if you never look at it again or share it with anyone helped. Because of life/health issues I’ve been pretty much isolated at home since March 2020 and retired January 2021. So I have been alone. For an introvert like myself it was great for a few years. I had people I could still talk and game with but even that is gone now. Loneliness had won and it kept on winning for months. While I was writing thru this I could feel a life path change coming. I have gone from writing when nose deep to writing multiple times a day and not just some short 1-2 paragraphs entry but writing sessions that were getting more detailed. I’m a shy guy and needless to say I would turn red as Rudolf’s nose if someone saw them as raw as they are but that’s up to me if or when I share them with someone. Find what works for you and give it time to work for you be it every night before bed, when you feel the tug or when you’re nose deep. So, if you made it this far then you may have been curious or I’ve said something that rings the bell with you and I hope you find peace from writing.
I love that you’ve taken something that’s been used to propel you through some dark and hard times and now have it as something that brings you genuine joy.
Creativity can be inspired by our dark moments, but it also is meant to be enjoyed in our light moments and you have executed that beautifully!
And the fact that you’re aware of your personal boundaries about sharing it is so wonderful! I love that this post is a little insight to your skill as a writer and to you as a person. Thank you for sharing it
Hey Lion!
I’m glad you found an outlet in writing! I know when it comes to creative outlets in general, it’s easy to just create to do it. But when you’re passionate about it, you’re right, its definitely something that you need to find what works for you and work on it when you can. Writing has never been a strong suit per se for me, but art and music has been my muse. There’s a lot of similarities, we’re just expressing the same emotions through different mediums. I’m excited to see how your writing journey goes, and if there’s anything you write that might be special enough that you’d love to share with us, please do!
Hey there FLLion2112! This feels so true about writing raw. It can be so incredibly helpful mentally but really just digs down into the depths of where you are right then and if you aren’t ready to see the real you then it can be a little jarring to meet yourself in such a real way. I’m so glad that writing has always helped you and been your outlet. It is always so important to have that and it seems like it is something you really love doing. Maybe you could even find your way to writing a book at some point. That may be a good way to fill in some of the time you have now that you are retired. I’m not saying you should write your raw thoughts into a book but similar things like this could maybe become one of those self-help/encouragement books. Or if you feel the fiction spark you could try your hand at that. You could turn this passion that has helped you so much into a hobby that may help you feel less lonely and it wouldn’t even involve interacting with others 
Anyway thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us and your profile pic is awesome btw! I hope you have an amazing retired life writing whatever your heart chooses 