Theodore Roosevelt one of our r forefathers once said, ”Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty”. He was right, I think I went through all that and more while contending with my bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, manic depression, and chronic pain. Bipolar disorder being my newest diagnosis I had no idea that it was going to hit me so hard I did a bit of research so I thought I knew what was ahead of me and that I could cops just fine like I always had but boy was I wrong. Before I knew it mental illness and pain had robbed me of my ability to find joy. I felt like an empty shell of myself I knew that shell wasn’t me it wasn’t who.i am or who I wanted to be, the real me was trapped who knows where inside me for almost six months. I wanted to give up and let bipolar disorder be my middle name. Don’t ask me how but during this time I led people out of the same kind of darkness I thought I was never getting out of I, was the hero for everyone else yet I couldn’t save myself. I’m not going to lie and say it cams easy or that I did it alone because 1 that’s not how this community works and 2 I don’t lie. I had LOTS of help and support from my friends in real life and on the internet so one day something clicked and I did save myself it took a lot of tears and work but I did it 42 days ago today I did it, I was who I truly am again. If you take nothing else from this take that there is a way out and that the hopelessness you feel won’t last and don’t be afraid of tripping up because I guarantee that everyone has tripped and fallen before its getting back up that matters. When you slip don’t think of it as a mandatory restart, instead, try to think of it as a video game pause menu. You don’t restart that game every time you pause the game, do you? Most of us would say no so don’t. Take that slip as a time to recompose yourself and continue where you left off. You earned that progress so it’s yours to keep. It isn’t meant to be thrown away or forgotten about forever. It’s for building on, some food for thought from you friendly neighborhood human.
I love you,
DT, exited to hear that you’ve hit a milestone and that the bipolar disorder is no longer a millstone around your neck. What you’ve come to realize is the truth – that label DOES NOT DEFINE YOU!! I am excited to hear that you’ve come out of the tunnel more empowered than before, knowing that you can overcome. Great work man.
Thanks Nate but like I said it wasn’t easy but I did it. Feels good man feels real good