Absolutely falling apart and worried (tw for sh, unaliving)

i’m falling apart. i don’t know whether i can ever talk to one of my friends again or if they’re gone forever. i received a goodbye message from him today. it’s been over 4 hours and my messages are still on delivered. i tried contacting his cousin, because i happened to have her snapchat but she’s also not reading my messages. i don’t know what else to do besides wait. but it’s driving me crazy. i wish i could check on him myself but we don’t even live in the same country.

everything is just going wrong and i can’t do this anymore. i’m falling back into a pit. i regret every message i send, thinking “i shouldn’t have spoken” or “why am i so stupid”.
i’m so close to relapsing, too. but at the same time i feel like i dont even have right to feel this way. that’s what my mind keeps telling me, at least.

I’m just so tired.


Hey, friend. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and breathe. Whatever is happening with your friend is not your fault. Please understand that. We all make our own choices in life. You have done all you can right now. Please know that you are being a good friend and let some time pass. As you said, you are not physically near your friend so you cannot do more than you have. Time will tell what the future brings.

Please rest and I hope your friend or his cousin contacts you soon. Please keep breathing deep and focusing on your own well-being right now. Please update us again when you hear something, if you wish to do so. Hold fast :hrtlegolove:


your words mean a lot to me! i have not heard anything from him or his cousin yet, but i’m still hoping he’s safe. especially since we just had started getting closer too. i will definitely give an update!


Hey friend. You’ve done the right thing by coming here and sharing what’s on your heart right now. I’ve been in your situation several times and relate to the stress that you are feeling. It’s awful to feel so powerless suddenly and not having any way to know how things are going for the people we care about. As much as online connections are amazing, they feel so limiting in these situations.

@DustintheWind is absolutely right by saying that none of this is your fault. Knowing you and your heart, I have absolutely no doubt that you’ve shown lots of love and affection to this person. Whether they decide to reach out or not when they are struggling is something that is not in your control.

Please make sure to stay safe while you are waiting for some updates. Even though it could be hard to focus on something else, it’s still important to slow down and not hurt yourself. The emotions that such a situation brings are distressing, but hurting yourself wouldn’t be worth it at all. You can go through this. You can handle those emotions. You will be okay.

I hope with all my heart that your friend is safe right now and will later on consider further steps to healing. Keep us updated. I’m sending plenty of love your way. :hrtlegolove:


my friend is okay!! i got a message from him yesterday evening. i am very relieved and glad he’s safe :]

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Aww, this is awesome! So glad he is safe right now.

Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to him, and I’m sure to many others. :hrtlegolove:

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