Absolutely relatable it feels like trying to stop

[HeartSupport_Fans]

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Belongs to: Therapist & Lawyer react to Rain City Drive
Absolutely relatable! It feels like trying to stop a train barehanded, it’s just physically impossible. When small things happen like being flaked or ignored by someone, my head starts to rumble all kinds of toxic thoughts at me like “it’s all your fault” or “you’re an outstander that deserves to die”. I know it’s not true, but my mind just stays persistent. I can definitely “stay positive” and adapt different behavior, but there’s no foundation to keep it strong so it’ll always fail in the end when something small happens. You can’t logic your way out of depression like some people believe. Your logic is already distorted, so the voices will find their ways to catch up.

[lu2910]

The metaphor of stopping a train barehanded is extremely accurate with how fighting depression and other mental illnesses can feel. It can feel like an uphill battle where if you stop fighting for even a second, everything comes crumbling down around you. I’m so sorry that the methods you’ve tried have ultimately failed you, it must feel so defeating to combat these thoughts again and again only to have them break you down in the end.

I heavily relate to how you said that your logic with depression is distorted. When I have my depression episodes, any positive thought I try to combat the negative ones with are quickly deflated by another negative thought. One thing I learned when doing ACT therapy was that idea of two wolves. One is positive thoughts and one is negative. If we fight the negative wolf, the attention gives it power. Therefore, we must focus not on just fighting negative thoughts, but putting energy and effort into our positive thoughts.

One personal process that has helped me when I feel as if the battle is me vs. me is to realize that the version of myself I am fighting does not have the tools that I have. My depression only has itself, but I have my family, my friends, God, and faith. Instead of trying to desperately fight it on my own, I take the thought captive and let it run its course and then leave. Depression is an illness that wants to leave you incapacitated, but if we keep our minds full of gratitude and utilize our support systems, we cannot be held down.

I found that having external validation from my family and friends helps me tear down the false truths about my identity that my anxiety and depression try to throw at me. I also have found that Biblical scripture calls us to cast our fears onto the Lord and remind us of how loved we are and how strong the Lord is in our weakness.

Logic cannot overcome our negative spirals, but the truth can set us free. Your identity and the very essence of who you are is what will carry you through this storm. You are loved, forgiven, and deserve to live. These are not logical arguments, but the truth. When the voices get loud, speak truths to yourself, speak “I am loved, I am forgiven, I deserve to live” and bask in the truth.

This battle is not an easy one, but it is one that will end in your victory. When the thoughts creep in, I know that you have the strength to take them captive and you can fight through this. I am so proud of you for how far you have come. I believe in you and love you my friend, keep fighting onwards <3

[reem182]

You’re so right about depression feeling impossible to “logic out of”. I’ve often struggled with that idea in my own depression when I’ve tried to tell myself I was just being illogical and should essentially just “think better.” And like you said, the hardest part to try and overcome is the lack of a strong foundation that will keep it all from flooding away into negativity and hopelessness.

It’s really difficult to keep any semblance of positivity when even small thoughts tend to derail our mental health. And it’s obvious that you want to remain hopeful, but easier said than done, right? So what is there left to do?

For me, in just about everything I have struggled through, I needed to have a foundation that would keep me grounded. Depression and anxiety do a great job of taking away everything else, but if you have a firm foundation in something, nothing can take that away because it is a fundamental part of who you are. For me personally, faith is the biggest thing that’s kept me pushing through my darkest moments, because when everyone else seems to fail me, I need to know that I am still not alone.

I don’t know where you’re at in this season of your life, but I want to offer you a possible starting block for a foundation of hope. No matter what you’re going through and regardless of how you’re feeling right now, I want you to know that you are loved more than you can imagine and you deserve to be here. I am so thankful that you are alive and that you are choosing to be vulnerable and honest; your courage inspires me and I’m sure many others. You are worth so much more than your depression tells you. And no matter where life takes you, you are loved eternally as exactly the person you are. Those voices that you mentioned; it’s such a great way to put it, because it really does feel like you are drowning in a sea of hopeless whispers that will only go away if you leave. But I promise you that there is hope and life and peace beyond that drowning.

It’s really, really hard to silence those voices, and for me I had to learn that I simply couldn’t fight them alone anymore. I want to tell you that you do not have to fight alone, and you were made to experience joy and freedom beyond these struggles. But no matter what, cling to the truth that says you are loved and there is hope in the promise of a new future where the voices aren’t so loud anymore. Thank you for sharing, friend.

[sangasugarbog]

I appreciate you reaching out, that is not an easy thing to do. When things seem to go downhill, it is so easy to ask, “Is this my fault?” Or rely on ourselves as first to blame. We are all human, and unfortunately, this is such a common reaction. You are not alone.

You are such a bright soul my friend, and I know that you will persevere through this. I know that this must be an overwhelming feeling. Not having a foundation is hard for us to walk out and stay strong through anything that happens, but you are loved more than you will ever know.

Keep striving and pushing. You will win this