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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Wrong Side of Heaven by Five Finger Death Punch
After combat, i heard this song just before i found out three friends were sent state side after an i.e.d strike that ultimately took the life of our interpreter, then after i got out, all i saw was the disgust and disdain when i got home but hurt more knowing i took a life so these people didn’t have to,i still struggle i lost too much
It sounds like you were involved in some situations where you had to make hard decisions, where you followed your internal compass, where you did what you felt was right. To then have fatalities, injuries, and the judgment of other people just adds an extra layer for you on top of what is probably extremely hard to hold for yourself. I can’t even begin to try to acknowledge all of the things you experienced and felt during your time in service, you gave your life, you fought for people you love, you did everything in the name of a greater good, but at the end of the day, it sounds like coming to terms with what you had to do still stirs something inside - and that is okay. You sound like someone who cares, and people who care have to take the time to make hard choices, and to examine who they are, and who they want to be. To struggle is the act of working through that pain, that confusion, or whatever it is that you experience, and while struggle is difficult, I would say that struggle means you are growing, means you are trying to find a way forward. To suffer is to let yourself struggle for too long, to blame yourself, to get stuck in inaction, and so I just want to say that I am proud of you, and from the little I know about you, I believe you have the mindsets to help yourself move forward in a way that honours all of the loss, and keep working towards healing and a feeling of inner peace within you.
Thanks for sharing, and you’ve got an army of people here who care and are here to support you through this.