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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to THE POT by TOOL
Ahhhhh! TOOL! What can ya say!
@HeartSupport as a Chef for 31 yrs and not a culinary graduate, the internal critic says "Youre just faking it! or “You really dont know what you are doing " or “Youre in your 50s ! You should be ______ like that guy over there with the nicer car, etc.” With 21 years sober, i should not be so hard on myself, but i can easily get down on myself for not doing more in my life!” At my age my father had 7 kids, 3 different houses, and one continuous job at the same company for 40yrs and to topnit off he gad a 13yr old boy to father. Dont understand how he did it 
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Hey! I hear you so much. It can be so difficult to see your achievements and so easy to see the things you wish were different in your life. I feel that all the time. First of all, though, please let me say that 21 years sober is such an amazing achievement! I know it’s so easy to discount that and take it for granted. Half of the way we maintain our biggest achievements is to pretend they’re not that big a deal. But let me say it again: 21 years! That, alone, is such an impressive thing. Ok, thats out of the way. I don’t want to embarrass you by talking about it too much, but WOW it’s huge. Ok sorry, I’m done. So big!!! Ok done. Let’s talk about the other stuff. I feel the same way. I felt like my dad was super human. He had a real job and a house and seemed like he was in charge so early in life and I felt like I was just floundering for so much longer. But I got a chance to talk to him about it and I can tell you he felt the exact opposite. He saw all of his failures, that I barely knew about and he saw my life and my successes that I barely noticed, and when I did I discounted them as not that significant. It’s so easy to see yourself through such a negative lens. I’m glad you spoke out about how you’re feeling. It made me feel like someone out there feels how I sometimes feel.
Hi there!
First of all 21 years sober is a huge accomplishment and it is something you should be incredibly proud of. I understand that it is very easy to compare yourself to others, especially being a chef but everyone’s journey is different. You are talented and that inner critic that is trying to tell you that your achievements are not enough is not right.
Give yourself the credit for the amazing things you have achieved and remember that there is no right way to be “successful” in life.
You have achieved so much already and you will continue to do amazing things in the future!
take care of yourself
sending love and support
Brother, I feel you on a deep level! I just turned 49 and I am just now getting into school to finally start doing what I’ve always wanted. It sounds like youve been following your passion for a long time and that’s awesome! Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, you are doing what you love and that is heroic and such an accomplishment. It was a different time when your father worked and raised a family. Just because he was working so much and has all this “stuff”, I bet he would tell you to make sure you are doing what you love. Don’t be so hard on yourself; it sounds to me like you are successful, and you should be proud of yourself. I know that I am.
With love
Eric