First time using Heartsupport, if not doing this right, sorry in advance. Btw imma bout to trauma dump, sorry again
I need convincing if I should actually go to therapy with my father. For some context, he’s a drug addict, alcoholic, mentally abusive towards me and my little brother, and practically had me raise his two other kids (one boy and one girl) when it was his days. When he and my mother got divorced, I was about seven or eight. He was a mess and threw himself into work. When he wasn’t working, he was telling us that our mother had left us, and he didn’t know when she was coming back (he kicked her out and she was trying to find a place to live). We believed it; we were children. So, since mom was nowhere to be found for a few weeks, I was the one who made all the meals, cleaned, got my siblings up and ready for school, and helped with homework. Not my dad. When we did end up going to our mom’s house, fifty-fifty schedule, she was wonderful and did everything she was supposed to. But I was still raising her children fifty percent of the time. Then we moved, and dad went to rehab. He had gotten addicted to laughing gas and had lost complete control in the lower half of his body. He was there for months and every time I called him he would just tell me about his “hot (MARRIED) physical therapist”. I thought he was going to die. Then he’s fine and just continues like nothing happened. Then he proceeds to get addicted to vapes and alcohol and yell at me all the freaking time. He literally caused me to have frequent panic attacks to the point where I had to go to therapy for a year. All of that hurt is just making me really angry. Should I go to to therapy with him? Because it seems like a should, but I’m just so angry. I cry when i’m really frustrated and the last thing I want is to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.