I struggle with depression and anxiety. My boyfriend killed himself the day after Christmas 2 years ago. I got told to ‘deal with it’ from everyone, but it’
Hey, first of all I’m sorry that’s what you heard from people. Something like that is really tough and most of us can’t just “deal with it” without large amounts of help. I hope that you’re able to reach out to someone for help, possibly professional that could help you process it. Places like the references on this site are a good place to start, or asking with a message to https://www.instagram.com/heartsupport/ ! I hope that you’re able to find a place for yourself in this life after all of that, because it’s there waiting for you 
But it’s a long road to get there, I’m glad you’re with us still.