I am engaged and have 2 children who are my life. Both children from the woman I am engaged with. We have been together for 10 year’s. Life is getting to me lately. All I do is work and come home and take care of the kids and sit around the house. It has become like a broken record. Me and my girlfriend fight at least once a day and that really screws up my mood and I take it out on everyone. I hold so much anger in for my girlfriend because when we fight we say some hurtful things to each other. Some times I wish I could walk away from fighting with her but I can’t. I wish I could just be happy and enjoy the good I have in my life but I’m just miserable. If I keep this up
I could loose her and she will take the kids and I will be left with just seeing them on the weekends. Iduno what to do. I wanna treat her better and be happy and learn to walk away from arguments. Any one have any tips? P.s I have talked to her many times about this and it ends well but the next day we fight again because I keep digging and digging!!!
Super relatable man…my wife and I, we’ve been together for 11 years now, have had a loooooong history with managing conflict. Sometimes really unhealthily and over time learning how to do that better. Looking at the way we do things, I can point to three periods of our relationship where our conflict-resolution / communication became /significantly/ better.
All three times were with counseling.
First was premarital counseling with Kenny.
Then was counseling in an office with Elaine.
Then was online counseling with Rachel.
All three life changing experiences and radically improved our marriage. Couldn’t recommend it more. Problem in a marriage is that it’s really easy to get entrenched in the way you view things and having someone who’s a professional come in and teach you guys to see each other is really important. First it helps you understand your partner, but also it helps you be understood by your partner.
Couldn’t recommend it more, man.
You can get 7 days for free through heartsupport.com/betterhelp (requires a CC on sign up), which should at least give you guys the opportunity to try one session with your counselor so you can see if it’s something that would be worthwhile.
The money is completely worth it because your relationship, as you noted in this post, is at the center of everything.