My anxiety keeps getting worse. I start to panic, when I’m outside, when I walk past people or they walk past me. I feel, like everyone is judging me.
Today, my dad took me and our dog to a park. I absolutely adored that park in the past. There are rarely people there, it’s just beautiful. But, we had to walk pass two girls, maybe around my age, at some point. I almost teared up, because they looked at me. I felt so judged.
My parents know about my anxiety, but sometimes I feel like they don’t take it seriously. I get, that I can’t stay inside all day. But I absolutely don’t feel safe around here anymore. I absolutely hate it here.
Last night was horror too. Someone decided to throw a party right in front of my window, in the middle of the night. The music wasn’t much of a problem(due to my hearing disability I didn’t hear much of it anyways), more the DJ. I didn’t even know, there was a DJ, until he started yelling into the microphone out of nowhere. I was almost asleep, when he did so, so I was terrified to say at least. To me, it sounded like I was wearing headphones, while someone was yelling at me. I couldn’t make out a word, of what had been said. Moments like that terrify me to the max. I nearly started crying and I almost had two panic attacks because of that.
It’s absolutely fine, if they want to party. I get that, no problem. But couldn’t they at least tell us about it? Is that so hard? I could’ve maybe mentally prepared myself, or something.
Sorry to hear about the struggle and panic you experienced. I want you to know there are a lot of people here that experience similar things. Please always feel free to reach out here. Anxiety is a very real thing and it is a complicated thing. There are a number of triggers and ways that it manifests. Parents don’t always understand unfortunately but I think that’s because when they were young mental health wasn’t really talked about so they don’t always know how to respond or support.
Something that may help is to have a sit down with them and explain to them some of the feelings you have or some of the things that trigger your anxiety. It’s not a comfortable conversation the first few times but it will get there.
As for the party across the street unfortunately people aren’t always considerate of neighbors or sometimes people just don’t think about it. They may not realize how loud it was. If it is a neighbor that you’re comfortable talking to I would just let them know “hey that party sounded like a lot of fun last night. I hope you guys had a good time. When you have your next one could you give me a heads up? I just wanna be prepared for it with the extra noise, I’m not asking you not to have them I just want to be prepared”
I can relate I had a severe panic attack August 17 2019 I thought I was going to die. It was a very scary point in my life. I hope you do better there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.