Alone and Miserable

I feel so alone right now. I’ve been struggling for about 2 years now with anxiety and depression and nobody seems to care about the hell that’s going on in my head. There have been a countless amount of times that I’ve contemplated just ending it all because I can’t handle it. I’ve begged God so many times to take my life and even then no one seems to care. I attend a church that claims to love people and claims to be a family and not a single fucking person has reached out to me to simply see how I’m doing. They all know what’s going on but no one gives a shit. I’m extremely bitter towards the church and christians in general because they seem to only care about themselves and their image. These are the only people that I’m ever really around because my anxiety is so bad that I had to leave my school and I have a job that I work by myself on. I wish that somebody would care or offer help because I’m living in hell right now. What makes this worse is that there are a bunch of “friends” that I had before that just left me hanging once shit got tough for me. I’m slowly dying out here and I’m all alone in this battle. I’m starting to think that maybe even God doesn’t care about me. I don’t know how much more I can handle.

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Hey friend,
I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through this right now. I know how hard struggling with both anxiety and depression can be, I’m so proud of you for reaching out here though, that is very brave and takes loads of courage.

I understand that right now it feel like the world is against you, but I can assure you even the longest tunnels have to end.

You are so strong, it is extremely hard to go through days not knowing if you even want to be here any more, but you are here and that on its own is incredible

There are people who care. I care and I really want you to get better. I would suggest leaving your church if you feel that it would help, I’m sure there is a better community church somewhere. I myself am not religious so I’m sorry that I cannot offer more help on that.

God does love you. I love you and everyone here on HS loves you! Please keep fighting friend! You are worth everything.

Hold fast,
Luna <3

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It’s probably important to add that I have to go this church because my family is in the pastoral position and I’m not really allowed to leave as long as I’m living with my dad.

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I totally agree with you on church goers. Last time I went to Evergreen community church no one try to know me at all I’m always the one making efforts. So I never go to church. I’m trying to understand Autism and anxiety and see what I can do to help myself not going server. You can message me anytime. I would love to have real friends who are willing to know me as I’m willing to know them

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I’m so sorry you are going through this. Depression and anxiety can be a very lonely thing to go through, even when people do reach out, much less alone when you feel like they aren’t. Depression and anxiety can skew our view of the world and others around us. It is such a hard battle to fight.

Know that as difficult as things are right now, God is with you. I know people say that as some simple platitude. Like they say it, and then make it sound like that fact is going to make things all better. I, myself, know that this isn’t the case. You can intellectually know God is with you, and still feel so empty, numb, and alone. But that doesn’t change the fact that God SEES YOU in this. He sees your pain and your suffering. He hasn’t forgotten you.

Sometimes it helps me, when I’m dealing with bad anxiety, to google a Bible verse that I think will help me. That way I’m not overwhelming my already overwhelmed brain with too much more info. lol For example, I’ll google, “Bible verses about anxiety”. Then they’ll probably be a bunch that pop up. I will read through the list of verses until I find one that “sticks out” to me. And I’ll meditate on just that one. That way I am in the Word, yet not overwhelming myself with one more task I have to do.

We are here for you. You are not alone.