I just found this website tonight because when I start to spiral I tend to look up ways to distract myself before I have a full blown breakdown. This has been happening so often recently but for no apparent reason. School is okay for once and I have good friends and a good relationship, but all I can think about is that I don’t deserve the grades and that the people around me only pretend to care about me or secretly hate me. Writing it down makes me realize it doesn’t make sense, but I just feel so incredibly annoying and alone. I don’t want to tell anyone because it sounds stupid and it’ll make me more annoying. The fact that I feel this way and have seemingly no reason to makes me feel like I’m an asshole for not being happy when other people are in terrible situations. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
My friend I am so happy that you found this website. It is a really amazing community you can come on here whenever you need to just talk to someone or when you feel alone. We also have a Discord and a stream on twitch, that goes live at 4pm est mon-fri. Come join us there! It’s a really amazing community. And we talk about silly things too. So it’s serious stuff and fun stuff and I hope to see more of you.
You are definitely not an asshole. Everyone has their own struggles and everyone is feeling with their own pain. I can be really scary when we have friends who might not understand what we’re going through. I know I do a lot with anxiety and I don’t want to seem annoying to my friends when I think they hate me but I know they don’t. But still that little voice in my head says what If? What if they’re just pretending they really don’t want to be my friend? I really want to applaud you for writing down all of those lies that your brain is telling you. I think that’s a really wise thing to do and if you need you can always come on here and just talk about the lies going through your head or the lies that you’re writing down. Maybe someone can respond and talk about that with you. The one thing I Want to suggest to you is possibly asking your friends or telling your friends about how you’re feeling. You don’t have to tell all your friends but maybe the ones that you’re closest to. Tell them that you know these things are not true but you just need to hear from them. I have a friend who will text me and she asked hey are you mad at me? And I’ll respond to her and I’ll tell her that I’m not that I love her. She told me that it’s what she needs to feel better and I’m OK with that because she’s my best friend. But I know want to suggest to you is possibly asking your friends or telling your friends about how you’re feeling. You don’t have to tell all your friends but maybe the ones that you’re closest to. Tell them that you know these things aren’t true but you just need to hear from them. I have a friend who will text me and she’ll ask hey are you mad at me? And I’ll respond to her and I’ll tell her that I’m not that I love her. She told me that it’s what she needs to feel better and I’m OK with that because she’s my best friend. But I know that can also be really scary. The biggest thing though is to reach out to someone reach out to either your friends or come on this website or talk to a family member. Because those lies in your head start to sound like truths when we’re the ones dealing with them. But you are loved and you are worthy and you are not annoying. I hope to hear from you soon. Hold fast. We believe in you
You are not annoying. This community welcomes you. I ask myself those questions too if my friends are pretending to care about me or they don’t like me. You are loved. You are not alone. Keep reaching out. Talk to your loved ones about what it is going on with your life. Start with one person, and it will change your life. I hope you are having a great day, and thank you for sharing. God bless you.