Alright let's get into this tw: sh

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I think Kovu wants to do Python and Unity but has to start on Godot. Though for now we are just learning. Funny story tho: It started off as me wanting to learn because I want to do a bit of world developing in a program and also bc I keep meeting people who go on long tangents about programs and I’m just sitting here like (^,◠ﻌ◠,^；)Ꮚ what language are we speaking- and feeling stupid for a good 15 mins- but then I started learning and it took an hr for my ADHD to kick in and lose interest and Kovu was watching the whole time thinking “Mhm interesting…” and while I’m bored of its peaked his interest so uh, now it’s his thing! Lmao

Ohhh hoho yea sour stuff will do the trick lol!

Oooo do you ever do the music daydream thing where you hear a song and suddenly you’re in another world? Omg I love those songs!

Ooooh! Cool, I wish I could dye my hair the color of my mindform T^T In innerworld when I’m happy or in a mood my hair glows firey magenta which is a mix or red, pink, bright purple and flecks of gold yellow lights in a mix. Kio wanted to make a meme animation out of it bc he finds it funny when he gets my attention on something and I’m just like (^◕.◕^)~> and I go glowstick mode -w- But yea their songs are great! I think my faves were Meteor Shower, Poison, This Is Home, and uhh I’ll Make Cereal! Also Telescope, also Pigeon, also Hug All Your Friends, Dysphoric, Sharpener, House Of Gold, DEVIL TOWN!!! Omg I need to get back into their music. OH FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT LEMON BOY! AHHH LEMON BOIIII omg lemon boy is a deep one for me, Stainedge made an animatic on it but seems it’s link shared only now T^T (hehehe I still have it, tho, it’s a big tw so no share for you unu).

Yea I have a huge lack of appetite too, which Niko usually comes in for bc he will make me hungry and devour everything. Make sure to eat bc health!

I mean it’s possible, just be careful with stuff like that, it really hurts me you’ve got that asshole “friend” potentially stuck in your head. I had my meds stuck in my head for 8yrs lmfao XD truly feels like a parasite… Thing is tho if a thoughtform is not developed enough yet it still has potential to be molded differently :sparkles:Though fr, I think you need therapy and meds for potential trauma and the dissociation. I mean when you feel more stable are you still dissociating or?

Uhhhh I’m gonna be honest I don’t really watch marvel :sweat_smile: I watched a few movies and they’re good but, they’re the type of movies I know I’m going to fall into a hyperfocus rabbit hole binge watch and I don’t want to do that unless I know for sure I have the right time on my hands XD Though it’s cool they have added a plural character! (Tbh usually movies and shows get it horribly wrong lmao for literally all types of systems lmao).

Ahhh, I’m sorry the dissociation is getting worse, if you have meds to help with it you should really take it- scratch that, now that I think about it, have you checked to see if it’s possible your meds cause dissociation at all? Or is it just stress? Just checking to be sure.

Thanks you too!

Oh yea, oh yea oof, if that’s true it’s possible you have an walk-in OCtive, as, you said you made an OC of your depression. Thooo it does sound like they were slightly just thoughts and when you gave them the form is when they decided to really infest your brain. (This is why I’m always careful of OC’s. The last OC I made became a accidental tulpa walk-in literal GOD! And well, the rest of my headmates are walk ins too just not as insane and more intentional. Kovu sometimes has an existential crisis from the fact he was born from a needle felted ppl plush I made of him one day when I was little. Like that’s all it took for him come into existence and show up all the sudden, and if I had never made it… Ehhh I don’t want to think about that. I mean shit it is crazy to think about, but yea it both fascinates and just, freaks him out. But hey he’s glad to be here and we’re glad to have him and we wouldn’t have it any other way! Uk, when I think back on Mori, I think it started out as a voice in my head, I tried not to name it but they wouldn’t stfu and eventually did by accident and well, you know the exact story for yourself lol. To sum it up, the abilities of the mind are way more powerful than ppl think, or simply, the brain is extremely moldable. Doesn’t take much for a headmate to form by accident. Glad he isn’t too developed.

Sending healing thoughts your way ^~^

-X

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Hey Xaii! omg that’s crazy how you described “glowstick mode” is like legit how I pictured you as in my head wow uh okay

aaaa not really tho but it sounds awesome and I wish it’d happen to me ^^"

uhh normally when I’m stable I’m not dissociating but I mean more frequently qwq

oh uh that’s very possible I already have a 'lil Mind Theory™ goin on about how my meds gave me depression with like the hyperfocusing thing and the whole ignis getting on me for not finishing tasks thing which in turn makes me hyperfocus on the depression and aaa

argh darn brain being as moldable as playdough >:c
but yea ignis is… interesting

I once read this thing that was like “ah yes well you see some headmates can do the fronting thing but then others of them just influence you and talk in your head and stuff” and I think ignis is the latter cuz he doesn’t really have a mental… self… that’s not quite the right word…

hmm he doesn’t really have a mental… form other then the self-deprecating and… ah toaster bath thoughts but like I said if he were to be a real boi and not a ghost or whatever he’d be interesting

yea he was like this really fancily dressed pyrokinetic who also happened to be a pyromaniac and he also had telekenisis but he’d only use it to move around the maze and he was also like a psychopath who tried to manipulate oc-representing-me-chan into thinking that he was right all the time and the only way out of the maze was to listen to him but he lied and he also used to be oc-me-chan’s conscience… gaa what was I thinking with this backstory??

anyways there’s that whole thing… my orch concert went super well today tho~ I had to wear a suit all day (and I absolutely despise suits) so very un fun but other then that p good day~

wishing you and your system happiness and safety~

-Robyn

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PFFFT- That’s epic LMFAO XD I’m like kinda suprised lol but cool!

Really?! I’d expect you would if you zone out with your orchestra music. Do you ever daydream in general?

Rip, I used to have dissociating episodes bad and they ended up being due to the aftermath of trauma or medications. As I got more stable it happened less, so hopefully that’s a possibility. (Aaa I just had a flashback, annoyinggg)

Oh hoho, were they ADHD meds? You’re def not the only person to wonder stuff like that and definetly not the only one who has bad side effects from meds in general. My meds are what heightened my Anxiety and gave me OCD, caused Depression and apathy, gave me intestinal issues and “Addorexia” that is stuck with me for life, and was so severe in its lethality of killing my original personality and mindset it split my identity in half. Over time, that persecutor I told you about formed and started bossing me around and getting angry when I had emotions because I would start remembering myself and realizing “Holy shit what am I doing? who am I? Am I back? I remember, I remember everything…” And when I felt connections like a sense of friendship it would bite down on that hard and try to make me focus on grades and numbness instead of things that gave me life and if I didn’t listen to it would beat the shit out of me. It’s a pretty lil fecking lie that drugs can’t give ya plurality or mental issues (as well as psychosis) bc long-term drugs ligitamately change your brain structure, so the more you use of it the more those brain structures change in severity, and no it does not just leave when ya stop taking it, something called “Neurochemical-imprinting” with stimulant drugs happen which affects brain structure and growth, and just proves my theorythatsactuallyanexperiencedfact more and more. And to a kid?! Holy shit does it change your brain QUICK! Been seeing alot of systems pop up in gen z related to headmates from medications, so I am for sure not alone here. And if it happened to you neither are you. This experience of having a headmate form from overmedicating is termed “medigenic” in the definition of “profound medication experience”. It’s a hidden origin term that used to be on the multiplicity wiki, coined by an anonymous on Reddit but for some reason the term was removed, and while idk why, I still use the origin term bc well, that’s the origin of my persecutor headmate. I honestly have a ton more to say about this but I don’t want to info-dump more than I have lol. Essentially, if enough ppl have the same “Lil’ Mind Theory™️” it’s not a just a theory anymore and needs to be scientifically researched because no we aren’t stupid we experienced something very real that idiots who just read textbooks will deny with the bs, “Well that was just your experience” argument until it’s proven.

Oh god, speaking of moldability, I was in a hypnophagic state yesterday and had the utmost fascinating realization. It did mess with my mind a bit so I won’t say for the sake of your dissociation issues but I’m still trying to figure out why it happened. I mean I was half asleep so prolly that, but it was something to note for sure in understanding the mind for what it is. I am, glad, that the medications didn’t take my hyper introspection away from me.

I mean, headmates who don’t front but just talk are usually just a form of mental communication. If you’re saying they don’t front at all do you mean they stay in a headspace or do they have no form and just, speak in the mind? Also yup you mean not sentient and lack of self awarness correct? Just like intrusive thoughts? Idk if you also heard this, but for new walk-ins they are mechanically identitcal to intrusive thoughts, but not morally equalivalent. So you are not morally required to let them stay and develop into a person if you do not wish. If you’re certain your situation with ignis is a walk-in, then unless ignis ends up a pre-existing alter, your experience could have more of a percent to be non-pathological. Though since you are experiencing distress, and dissociative symptoms with ignis it’d be best to keep an eye out for if it worsens, cuz if you get identity confusion, or amnesia with ignis, then its important to talk to a professional. Just giving 2¢ to remind you

Wait this was a backstory you wrote? Oh my yea that’s problematic! Well at least that fancily dressed pyrokinetic has half a brain and only instinct to go on.

Ooo congrats! Though sorry you had to wear a suit, clothes can suck sometimes :frowning: I love suits bc I’m not allowed to wear them so I’d love to change wardrobes XD (the ones at the mall are so expsensive!!! :tired_face:)

Have a good day!

-X

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Oh hoho, absolutely they were! B’) They’re also what probably causes my never wanting to eat lunch things because yes medicine is bad to me but I mean ¯\(ツ)/¯ they say that it helps me function so I take it

ohmygosh it’s ignis! w o a!

oh yes very fun hopefully I’m not stuck like this now but I’m pretty sure I am bc when I don’t take the medication I still hyperfocus and this is why I was so resistant to it in the first place… ✪ ω ✪ my life’s strange innit

ooo interesting~ eh I mean you’re probably fine to say it like let’s be honest what more do I have to lose

yes he’s almost like fog most times but I have a very foggy mental picture of what he could look like but I mean it could be me imagining crap… (。・ω・。) it’s probably just me imagining crap honestly

pfff I’ve had identity crisiseseses looooong before ignis was even really more then just the voice in my head B’)

yepp (_ _)。゜zｚＺ idk what the heck I was thinking

but I mean basically there was like this maze in my head where every turn represents a different choice I made and every turn I took was a dead end and at every dead end ignis was like “haha wow nice bruv you’re at another dead end. remember all those other times you were at dead ends? remember how much of a failure you are for not being able to make it through the maze?? yeahhh mate hate to break it to you but you’re a failure and you are not making it anywhere without me”

and also I wrote him into a project I’m working on and now he’s an important plot point… gaAA what was I thinking!?

alright yea still an metric ton of dissociation but I mean it’s doing pretty well besides that…

also are you sure all this talk of Mori won’t bring them back? cuz I wouldn’t want that to happen to you just be careful mk? (・∀・)

-Robyn (and possibly facet of delusional insane robyn)

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