N:
Hello!
Hehe Ik! I wanted to tweak an emote to my liking and I ended up making that!
Xaii mentioned this in another post, but if it feels like they’re more detached and function on their own, they may be more real than you thought. Though, intrusive thoughts can do that to you as well, like saying things about you or about others you dont beleive but your brain just says it for some reason.
Well, you could always try a different browser. If it’s a browser the computer is not familar with, and download it, it could be possible to work with that because they haven’t blocked it yet. Though time would only tell till they track it with IP and student ID. Which could happen in less than a couple days. But I will say, it is… Very disrespectful of them to block that, as well as preventing you from getting help and protecting yourself etc. It is literally blocking you from getting any form of outside help, and that is a heavy mistake on their part, no matter what rules they have. (I’m sure there are ways if you look up how other ppl get past the admin walls online. It’s not impossible to do a little manuvering, though I’m sorry you have to be sneaky about it at all. It just isn’t right to do that to people, ecspecially to their own students who go through who knows what at home and sites like these might be the only places they can feel safe.) Hopefully this advice can help.
Its an excellent skill! Though to do it you first have to be aware when you are going through something and spot it before or when it happens. Which is something we struggle with when the situation is new, but with loneliness self love and preventing you from thinking negative thoughts about yourself should be easier and can help alot!
Ah I see, I think I understand this sort of thinking. Then perhaps the one that was helping you can teach you how to work through it as well. Ecspecially if these facets are becoming yourself. I get the filter thing, for Xaii it seems when we ask him to bring up a good memory, or his favorite memories, he can’t seem to think of anything or it just takes a really long time, but when it comes to bad things they come up almost immediately. It’s almost sometimes like he blocks out good memories because it hurts him. Like, whenever he makes a friend, he incorporates those memories into a box, and then locks them away because at some point he knows those friends leave one way or another, and he will feel upset by it. So instead of feeling sad and depressed, he blocks out and disconnects from reality so he doesn’t have to remember or feel any emotion towards it because he can’t remember it anymore, (This is also due to trauma, and based on your latest posts maybe you can relate to this as well?) He doesn’t talk about them at all, because he can’t remember, and when we get him to remember things he starts feeling pain. Missing people… Hurts it seems, but if “It always happens eventually”, then it is the reason he’s desensitized to it and doesn’t connect close to people. Which is why he has a pretty bad memory for good experiences (or maybe just not many good memories, or just bad at memorizing x3). It seems he blocks emotions about good events because he doesn’t feel like it’s real, is that a familar feeling for you as well? If so, it might be really important for you to work on emotions so you don’t become empty and apathetic to everything. And for the long term with friends, find something that can give you some hope that things will get better so you eventually don’t end up forgetting your experiences and only seeing the bad. Every moment is meaningful, don’t let yourself give up on your feelings because if you do, you will find yourself disconnected and not being able to remember much of anything at all. Being able to be grounded to reality is a huge gateway to being able to remember things and be emotionally connected with the world. If you are finding yourself disconnected, try grounding yourself with things like 5 senses, it may help with connecting to reality so you can feel again.
Then we advise to be very diligent with yourself and who you sourround yourself with. Don’t let others manipulate or walk on you because you can’t say no, and if you just can’t say it, then make up excuses to distance yourself from bad situations and unhealthy people, or seem uninteresting to them.
X: There’s lots of ways of ways to get rid of people that make you really uncomfortable or give you red flags, it can range from seeming boring and quiet, to creepy, to hostile, to bluntly honest, to overly annoying, or simply weird, you just have to read them and see what will make them think “Ight I’m out” and keep a healthy distance from you without harassing you or picking on you (bc there are idiots with tiny brains who do this). It’s important in these situations to understand how the person thinks because it’s how you can use it to adapt and get out of it and away from them to safety, and can also give you comfort because you are a step ahead and unpredictable to them in literally anything you do or think, and you can happily be yourself with the people who actually value you because you don’t have to mask or paradox yourself when you’re safe with them. Which is a huge thing to learn on its own, because sometimes it’s hard to feel safe at all from previous experiences and can take a bit to open up. Anyways, use masking/paradoxing to keep you safe when you spot red flags, that’s what I do. And being plural amplifies that by times however many headmates you have lmao. I kinda wanna send a meme on the plural part bc it’s such a mood. Uk what feck it:
N: We’re sorry you have to deal with that so much, dissociation is such an uncomfortable feeling. The orchestra sounds lovely though ^w^ we do that alot with art, so much so that time seems to pass in in a matter of minutes. With dissociation when it’s not comfy, I’d say keeping an eye on the 5 sense can help. Like hold something that feels nice to you, and listen to sounds that don’t disconnect you from reality (we found music to be the opposite of grounding) so like anything irl like the wind or footsteps etcetc, also smells, like smell markers and peppermint oil, peppermints in general whether eaten or smelled kinda wake ppl up, but for us peppermint/tee tree oil helps alot and knocks you hard back into reality.
Kio: Lmao he says shite a fecking lot xD I wish he made up new words tho, he could be a cussing genuis 
N: we’re glad your friend cares to give you a heads up for you to protect you, I hope this isn’t the one that left, they sound very kind. Triggers suck alot, so it’s good that it isn’t affecting you too bad. For Xaii, it seems that it’s harder because parts of the friends lives have names and people and looks that relate alot to the trauma which freaks him out bc it’s feels like they are the exact same people with the exact same story which creeps him out. We would explain more but it seems just bringing up the memory freaks him out a bit. All in all, in a simple explanation, he experiences these coincidences that are so similar, or that their voices are too similar or their looks are too similar, or their behaviour is just too triggering or they have a friend with the exact same name. It’s usually not stuff they can change for him so he ends up distancing himself because it’s too errie for him whether they mean well or not.
Kio: This burnout sounds like it could relate to disconnecting from reality. Also, a heads up if you have an eating problem. When getting detached and not eating it could be risky because stomach will end up feeling sick and eventually and you will feel like death. Lack of eating can also cause the fogginess of the mind to become more prominent. So eating something can help with both the disconnect and with the sick feeling if you ever do get sick. And it may also make you feel happy. (Bc when deprived from food ur body by itself is literally excited to eat when it gets the chance again, it will literally be so excited it will give you the bodily reaction of making you automatically smile bc your stomach is just so happy to see food again and you didn’t even realize it until you took the first bite.) When you’re emotionally burnt out you could try to focus on grounding yourself to reality and repeating mantras of self love and feeling not just 5 senses but inner self. It may not just recconnect you to emotions but also make you hungry again. With ignis, if he isn’t self aware enough to reason with then, with what Nav said, working with whoever was helping you back then could help alot with this. It’s important to practice resilience around unhealthy people.
Yea talking will defiently make them develop, the more attention you give a thought pattern the more development material it has to form Identity, become sentient, and inhabit more spaces of the mind to control. Most likely if you gave the other ones more attention they would definetly end up more developed, which is why Xaii says that there’s a line to when intrusive thoughts can become a full fledged thoughtforms and to not give it attention or you can actually split. It’s a confusing line for sure, but, if there’s still a potential for you to not have an abusive thought pattern that doesn’t have self awareness harass you in your head it’s an option. I mean whatever you were doing that was helping you could work, if it was just healing that was working then perhaps as you heal it will automatically just fade away? Ig just throwing ideas since you’re still trying to figure out if you’re a system or not. Tho ik from Xaiis experience in undergoing psychosis years ago from those meds it did create a split, and it seemed the more stable he became that other peice (Mori) was more controllable and easier to reason out of and eventually just left. So it could be that too.
The chello sounds very fun! We don’t know too much about musical instruments but Kovu seems to like them. He shredded an imaginary guitar in innerworld from a song he’s now obsessed with (it’s a good fecking song tho). He also likes the violin a bit.
Also yussss I love that! I’d wear nail polish bc I’m a pink ass boi but Xaii doesn’t let me 
minimum we are allowed is thigh highs, crop tops, and earrings so we look for alot of em. Funny thing is whenever Kovu fronts when we wear femme shit (He a grown ass man) he looks at the body and is like “Wtf am I wearing?” So we all make fun of him lol. The whole system is guys it’s just that most of us are pretty feminine and the most Kovu is ever willing to wear is earrings.
N, K, X: We’re glad your leg is doing better! And we’re glad you’re recovering! And oh wait you’re feeling emotions again!??!? YAYYY big hugs congrats (つ≧▽≦)つ so glad for you ^w^
X: Again sorry about your friend, with mental issues sometimes people just can only handle so much, struggling with emotions and ecspecially ignis could have been alot for them but hey, you’re getting better it seems! So as I’m saddened you’re desensitized, I am glad you are still moving forwards and working through stuff <3 remember that everyone goes through things at their own pace, we know you can heal through this ^~^
Please take care, we hope things will keep looking up for you.
-N, K, X we all kinda chipped in on this one.
P.S we all send our regards
you got me there~ but in all seriousness I’m super excited despite having three orchestra concerts in three weeks… oo boy it’s gonna be an experience
they’re like “robyn stop talking watch the showwwwww ;-;”