Am I really that much of a failure?

How am I supposed to be myself when I can never do anything right when I am? How am I supposed to help support this family when I do nothing but mess up other people’s lives? You can only take so much pain. I need to leave, but I have no place to go. I can’t handle constantly being put as unimportance. Every good day is countered by weeks of ravenous, bloodthirsty, hate-filled words and actions. Animalistic behaviors from people I barely know. I’m not sure how much I can take of this cold world. The treatment from peers and teachers, alone, is enough to break a person, but to come home to the same treatment from family, is even worse. To escape the hands of one abuser, then falling into the hands of another is the worst feeling ever. You feel like you have failed, you’re not sure how you got this unlucky. You know nothing but pain and suffering. You think you had finally found someone trustworthy, then they go and break it all. I’m not sure who to turn to anymore. I want to turn back to the blade, but I made a promise that I want to keep. I try to make them happy, but I just seem to make them madder. I can’t do anything correctly. I should just have stayed with my mother, at least I know I would have been dead by now. Away from this awful, treacherous, world of hate and misery. Nothing good will ever come from this sick and twisted universe. I have no place in on this earth, so why stay to waste oxygen?


You will be able to leave one day, when you scrape up enough money. I know it feels hopeless right now, but sometimes all you have to yourself. That’s who you turn to when everyone else are the hopeless ones. You are stronger than you know and you can have a much better future, you just gotta get through this. And this won’t last forever.
Don’t try to make people happy, especially these people. They’re going to be unhappy and miserable anyway. Maybe to them, you can’t do things ‘correctly’, but who said their opinions and words were law? They don’t get you, they don’t understand, and that’s all their fault. There’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t let them win, don’t let anyone dictate how you live and how you die. Don’t let their words in, they’re only trying to get at you and they are lies. What matters is your own opinion and i believe you still have hope.
I believe in you. You will survive.
Hold Fast, never give in :slight_smile:

All Your Hate - Black Veil Brides
Sweet Blasphemy - Black Veil Brides
(Hope these help you )

I feel you for right now. I just want to thank you for reaching out.

The fact that you’re still alive shows how strong you are. Let me reassure that one day you move out and away to your own place. Your safe haven. You can choose whether to talk to them or not.
Your not a failure. But you are strong and you can feel loved. No you will. You won’t need them when you’re older.

So keep breathing and stay strong. .

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