Hey @fiji, first of all I want you to know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. I too struggle with feeling this way, and when I think about it I am the only one in my circle who is not in some form of relationship; pretty much all of my friends are in committed relationships/married, and all my cousins/siblings are in committed relationships/married/engaged. It is very isolating, and it is easy to feel like you are unlovable and that no one cares, so I completely understand why you would feel that way.
However, the truth of the matter is is that you are NOT unlovable. We all live very different lives and experience life at different paces, so there is certainly nothing wrong with you. Maybe you’re not in the right place at the right time to meet someone now, or maybe you just haven’t met the right person yet, and that is ok.
If anything, what I have learned through life experiences and by finding community here at HeartSupport is that love comes in many forms. There are different kinds of love than romance/intimacy; you also have love of family, love in your friendships, and love from a community. Those are all very real and powerful forms of love, and they’re amazing if you are willing to open yourself up to them. I would encourage you to learn from my past mistakes, to recognize the love that you DO have in your life right now and to not take it for granted because it does matter. Love of family, friends, and community is something that will be there for you in those difficult times when you feel like romance and intimacy have betrayed you. Please help yourself to recognize the love you have now and treat like you would the love of a significant other.
I would also encourage you to learn to love yourself more, or to start yourself on a journey to find out what that means to you. Some of the best advice I’ve heard in regards to struggling with accepting being single is to try and be “the type of person YOU would want to be in a relationship with”. Ask yourself would you really want to be with someone who believes they are unlovable and thinks there is something wrong with them? Start to figure out what loving yourself would look like to you, and in time the right person will come along in your life who will recognize the quality of your heart.
Remember that you are not unlovable, you are loved here! There is love in your life, and it may not be what you are hoping for now but it does matter. We see you, we hear you, and you are certainly not alone.
Love you friend, hold fast.