An Introductory-ish Post aka my answers to the post-test questions

HeartSupport General
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Hey, hi.
I was a bit surprised after taking the Compass Test that my physical score was the lowest, because my mental health generally just isn’t great right now. But I figured I would try to give honest answers to everything so here we go:

Which self-care practice is hardest for you?

Exercise. I used to go to the gym almost every morning at 5am but COVID put a stop to that. I fallen in and out of routines since 2020. Looking back at gym time I don’t think I ever actually enjoyed it so I’ve wanted to find something that I love (or at least don’t hate).

Does taking a shower on a regular basis feel like torture?

No, but I often have to remind myself how good I feel after I take one.

Are you not being safe in your relationships?

I’m safe in my relationships, but I often remove myself if I think that I’m going to be a burden.

Have you made a permanent pillow fort on your couch?

No, but I wish I did. My pets are so darn easy to cuddle with.

Do you act like you don’t deserve care?

Yes. I feel like it’s my responsibility to take care of others. It’s my reason for existing. I have a hard time believing that I deserve care because it means that I’m a problem.

Do you feel like the worst person ever?

Yeah. I feel like I’m not “good enough” and that my friends’ and family’s lives wouldn’t be different if I left and went to live on a remote island forever.

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Hey @J-Unit, welcome to HeartSupport!

Thank you for sharing your Compass Test answers! You are by no means alone in these things. I know each of us wants to take care of everyone else, but not ourselves. We feel like we’re burdens if we have the urge to ask for help or even social time, we feel like we’re insignificant, and we feel like we don’t deserve care.

I know this may not change your feelings, at least right away (because I know it doesn’t necessarily change my feelings), but consider these facts. If one of your friends, family members, coworkers, or even acquaintances confided in you that they wanted to disappear and thought no one would notice, how would you react? It’s ridiculous, right? Of course you’d notice and be affected! If someone comes to you saying they’re broken and just need some emotional support, would you see them as a burden, or would you step up and give them a hug and feel grateful that they chose to confide in you? I can’t speak for everyone, but the fact that you’re so empathetic leads me to believe you’d be so glad to be there in their time of need. If someone told you that they skipped meals or showers or sleep because they felt like they didn’t deserve to be well, would you feel neutral about it? Of course not, you’d empathize with them and hurt for them.

Considering all that, each of us is “the other person” to someone else. Each of us is the person that someone else would be glad to help, hug, or cry with.

Remember these facts, and know that while your feelings are valid, they are perceptions and not absolute truths. Again, I am as bad as anyone at practicing what I’m preaching :laughing:, but I know my feelings are feelings and they don’t align with facts.

Thank you for coming to us, thank you for trusting us, and thank you for giving us the opportunity to support you. You matter, and you make this world a better place. Hold fast :hrtlegolove:

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Thanks so much for the kind words. <3
I hope to reach a point where my perceptions match up with what I know to be true. I’ll keep trying my best!

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From: ManekiNeko

you sound like such a caring and loving person. You sound like you care so deeply about your friends and family, and I can’t imagine how they wouldn’t be filled with joy and love because of that. Your presence in their lives is something irreplaceable. How have you been since you did the test and posted this?

also I love that you would build a fort on your couch to cuddle with your pets! I would 100% do that all day and every day if I could too! To me, anyone who loves their pets and gives them a beautiful life is a wonderful person!

needing care and needing support does not make you a problem. It makes you human, it makes you full of intricate feelings. It makes you someone who deserves the love they give out x

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Welcome @J-Unit , glad to have you here hun

I think a lot of us unfortunately fell in and out of routines since COVID hit. I know I have. I think 2023 is the year some of us really have to drag ourselves out of the mud. It sucks.

I definitely feel you on this one, but you should take care of yourself too. You can only dedicate so much energy to others before you really need to replenish your own energy.

I also felt this, but hun, you are enough. You are more than enough. And, I want to personally thank you for sharing this with us today. Thank you for everything you do, @J-Unit.

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From: twixremix

hi j-unit!

i’m proud of you for taking steps towards better mental health. thank you for your honesty and vulnerability with these answers so your heartsupport community can fully encourage you to reach your goals! it’s so important to find exercise that you enjoy doing and i wish you all the best in finding what works for you! in my experience, if you live near a nice scenic area or some nature, walking/jogging through those areas makes exercise a lot more enjoyable. looking forward to hearing what you find works for you!

and hey… i know i’m a stranger but i have full confidence in this statement: you deserve love, support, and understanding. you ARE good enough and have immense value to those around you. thank you for caring for others as you share in your second to last answer. i hope you can put as much care that you put into others into yourself. you deserve it. you matter!

love,
twix

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Welcome to HeartSupport, J-Unit and thank you for sharing this with us. Your profile pic is really cute. Pets really are just so easy to cuddle with and to never want to leave their cuddly embrace. I totally feel you there. That was some impressive commitment and routine you had going with going to the gym so early and so often. I hope you find something similar that you can find passion in. I suggest joining one of those gyms with a bunch of different physical classes so you can try some different things to help you find what you will really love doing and want to stick with.

I hope that you find that place where you can accept your truths rather than the lies your mind tells you. Good luck and I hope to see you around more. We always like seeing new people here :hrtlegolove:

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Hey J-Unit,

You are not “The worst person ever”, but any means, measures, or anything even close to that. You are always good enough, no matter what is going on. I am sure that your loved ones would absolutely miss you if you fled to a remote island! (Heck, they’d probably want to come join ya). You have absolute worth, friend. Nothing will ever change that. You Matter.

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From: Mamadien

J-unit, the Compass test can tell us so much about ourselves and how we feel and think. Thank you for coming and sharing what you learned. You talk about the need to care for others but don’t see their lives as being different if you weren’t there. Oh my friend, you are valued, you make a difference in this world. But you also are deserving of care yourself. Self care is one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves and others. If we are caring for others without caring for ourselves, our cup gets empty and then we don’t feel worth much. So please take care of you as you learn from this compass test and begin working on new habits. You are so very important and so worth the time and care. You matter my friend.

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hello Friend, Welcome to Heart Support and thank you for sharing your Compass Test answers. I hope you can use it to make a plan of attack! I would venture to say you are not the worst person in the world, because you do have friends and family who love you. You are enough! ~Mystrose

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