Anhedonia sucks

[Ashwell]

Hi
I know this is a support topic but ist not going to be that serious (or at least I hope so). This is basically going to be me on a rant killing boredom and numbness. To start this off I freaking hate anhedonia. The moment when nothing iterests you, you feel too tired to do anything but too awake to take a rest. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh… well its not even like I dont have things to do. i have done some cleaning today. Did some shoping. Learned. And when it was time for me to take break and do the stuff I wanted… nothing.

I have a few methods of dealing with this. The first one being doing stuff that has meaning… So I have read some of the stuff on the wall but I feel too tired to respond right now. I dont want to make some halfassed responces when it comes to it. I have a lot of books to read but because I have been studying today I am not in the mood for that at all. Watching movies feels like a chore and I dont want to watch the things I usually would enjoy because I would not enjoy it now. I also try to eat something good. Did that… ate some waffles. Now what. Litteraly looked into my mind if there is any depressing philosophical stuff there I could think about… got my answer. My brain: “Meh… not in the mood.” Ok brain fuck you too.

So this is me not in the mood for anything. Its not like its super bad but it is super annoying. Like go and do the stuff you like now that you have the time but my excitement just went on a vacation and I dont know when it returns so I guess a will just have to wait.

[Mystrose]

I’m sorry you’re going thru this, ugggg it sucks so bad. I wish there was something I could say to you pull you out of it, but I don’t know if there is.

I experience it in waves and it’s mostly around when I have a major depressive episode. Sometimes, I have to force myself to do things and I feel like a robot with no emotions or feelings when I do them. Sometimes, I don’t even bother. I just sit here…existing.

You don’t have to be in the mood for anything for us to still love you.

[Micro]

I’m sorry that it’s hitting you right now, dear @Ashwell. Anhedonia often feels like such a punishment for nothing. As if we were looking at a very tasty meal, were allowed to eat it but only for it to be functional and not a pleasure at all. It just sucks.

Is nature - or activities related to it, like petting animals or gardening for example - something that tends to help you feel more grounded generally, or not? It can be frustating as a result, but I personally find that doing things that I know rationally tend to connect me with the environment around is comforting, even if I still feel disconnected from it. I would for example sit in nature and look at the wind shaking the trees, still have to think “I am looking at trees shaken by the wind” to actually process it, lol, and feel completely disconnected from the experience itself. But knowing that it is something that tends to have a benefical effect in different circumstances, is kind of comforting. Just for knowing that you do something good for yourself during a time when you need it.

Not sure if this makes any sense.

I hope the fog will fade away soon so you could enjoy even just the pleasure of a tiny ray of light on your skin, or the warmth of a good ol’ mug of coffee in your hands. Love you, friend.

[Ashwell]

Hi
This is really tireing. These anhedonic episodes are really something. At this point I am honestly asking for an advice. The first thing that happends is that I have an anhedonia episode and then I start depersonalizing after a while. This can last for hours. can somebody help me with this. I know that this might not be the most horrible experience ever but if anyone has any advice I would be really grateful for it .

[Mystrose]

I got a lot out of this series, maybe you can too?

Coping with Anhedonia, Part One

[Ashwell]

well its a bit better. this video was honestly not supe helpful. i already try doing things i used to like and sometimes it works but sometimes it makes me hate the more. but thank you for sharing anyway

[Mystrose]

Sorry.

(20charthing)

[Ashwell]

Its not your fault. the anhedonia has largely faded mostly. I am glad that you replied
Now I am feeling like shit but that is normal on a Sunday evening so no biggy

[Mystrose]

@Ashwell

Now I am feeling like shit

Don’t, I’m just sad that you’re having such a tough time with this. I know what you’re going thru.

[Ashwell]

Thank you Mystrose. Trying to keep busy. At least the anhedonia has mostly faded. I am kind of dreading the moment of going to sleep. That feeling of total pointlesness and just resignation. Trying to keep it at bay. Hopefuly it will get better tomorrow.