everyone i talk to seems to be really annoyed by me lately. i don’t know what i’m doing. i think i should just stop talking to people maybe? they’d probably like it better that way. somebody could message me first and i’ll just be talking with them and then they’ll tell me to shut the fuck up or something and i don’t even know what i did. the “thx” everyone always puts after i say ok hurts too. i don’t know why. i’ve got to be doing something wrong, right? i don’t know anymore. i just want to make people happy.
my brother and his family and a bunch of other people (20?) went out to dinner after my moms funeral on tuesday and i wanted to go but my dad didn’t and there were too many people so we just didn’t go. we also couldn’t really afford it. i really wanted to go though and now i’m sad about it. i never get to go anywhere or do things with anybody and even though i probably would’ve hated being in such a crowded and loud place, i still wanted to be able to go do stuff. i’m 17 and haven’t gotten to do anything fun as a teenager except go to a traveling carnival once when i was in middle school. i hate my life
Doesn’t “thx” mean thank you? I think there’s a pretty good chance that those annoyed people were annoyed before you came to them. A lot of people who are on edge don’t want to talk about it, so when someone approaches a person and feels their tension, it’s easy to feel as though he/she’s the cause of it.
It’s a good idea to do what you can to assess another person’s mood before you try and talk to them. It’s good that you want to make people happy, but often it’s impossible. It’s better to give them space when it looks like they need it.
I’m sorry that you didn’t get to go with the group to dinner. Not leaving your dad alone that evening might be best thing you could have done.
You are 17. That means that your life is going to change pretty soon. You will have a lot more freedom, and most likely fun as well.
well, usually when texting people “thx” is more of like a fuck off kind of thank you than an actual thank you, in context of the people i talk to at least, which is why it hurts
somebody could message me first and i’ll just be talking with them and then they’ll tell me to shut the fuck up or something and i don’t even know what i did.
Just to understand a little more, is this something that actually happened, or something you fear to happen?
That’s not okay then. For someone to reach out to you, then basically telling you to f*ck off without any clear and calm explanation is just not a healthy way to communicate, and not something you deserve to be told. Of course, they could be heated or struggling, but they also come to you first, which means they want to create that space with you. You are also deserving of respect.
If this tends to happen often and they keep persisting in not explaining you what the issue is, then it might be better for you to set some boundaries with them, or to invite them to have a real conversation about what the issue is.
You asked yourself if you should stop talking to anyone because of this, but that would be really unfair, friend. There’s a communication issue right there, and it’s not all on you. It takes two people to make a relationship, and the willingness of both to work on possible obstacles on the roaad that may interfere with that relationship.
i just want to make people happy.
This is a good start and set an intention that should probably be clarified with those people if that’s not the result they perceive, for one reason or another.
i’m 17 and haven’t gotten to do anything fun as a teenager except go to a traveling carnival once when i was in middle school.
I’m sorry for this and understand that feeling. I never really had any childhood or teenage years to enjoy either as any other “normal” teenager. However, if it can bring a bit of comfort, I can assure you that being an adult and growing up never erases the possibility to do things for yourself, have fun and enjoyment. We often hear when we are young that we should enjoy those years as much as possible as they are supposed to be the best ones, as if once we’re over 18 everything becomes different. For sure, there are different type of responsibilities to handle. But honestly, adults who trap themselves in an over-serious role of adult actually do that to themselves too. I’ve been guilty of that, as those beliefs are hard ot break down. But honestly, being a responsible adult and a young person in disguise is an awesome experience too.
Micro has it right! Responsibility comes with adulthood, but so does a much greater talent for having fun. Our family was always broke, and I started doing anything I could for money from age 11. When I was 15, I dropped out of school and left home. From that time on, I worked continuously until I retired. For a long time, I felt as though I missed out on things like proms, parties, and all that socializing stuff that teenagers usually do.
I did observe that teenage behavior, kind of like being on the outside and looking in. I finally came to realize that I probably would not have bothered involving myself with those things that I missed anyway.
One thing I do know, is that I have been a zillion percent happier as an adult, and can laugh and play more easily than I ever could as a child or young adult.
Regarding the text message, it’s unfortunate that such abbreviations can be interpreted more than one way. If it was rudeness, it was probably a symptom of the senders pain. The pain may have nothing to do with you. You were just conveniently there when he decided he needed to let out some meanness.
A rarely explored but probably the most important function of forgiveness is to look past offensive behavior, and consider what negative experience convinced the person of the need to act that way. It’s not always possible to help a badly behaving person to heal, but keep in mind, when they project their pain, in this case, by sending negativity your way, you don’t need to take it personally. You did nothing wrong. You don’t deserve to have negativity coming to you on your phone. You don’t deserve to feel hurt by it either. I hope you no longer do.
