Back at it again, i guess

ngl, my desire to throw myself in front of a car is so damn high right now.
i’m honestly at a point in life, where the smallest things hurt me so fucking bad. it’s hell, really.

i recently started cutting again(i was clean for about a year now) and i just don’t know anymore. i’m not even sure, if i’m gonna make it through this year, if i’m being completely honest.

i almost lost two friends to suicide in a very short time span. luckily they did not attempt(or at least i don’t think they did)

i don’t know how long i can do this anymore. my parents are searching for a therapist for me, but they seem so pissed off with me, all the time. they didn’t even believe me, that something was wrong with me until i actually had go to the hospital because my body couldn’t handle it all anymore.

i really try to hang on and to keep fighting but i’m so so tired. and that’s so sad, because i’m not even fifteen yet.

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I’ve been looking at this ppst all day. Trying to find the words to say to give you some kind of hope. And I cant seem to find any. So, I’m going to link some songs for you to listen to. I find when words are lost, music helps find them.

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You arent fifteen yet and you have going through with so many things. You really are a warrior and I am proud that you decided to speak about what is making you suffer :hugs:.

You know when you say that even the small thing hurt you, I know the feeling, during 2019-2020 I have been like that, even one word could made me sad or etc, even a message and I know that you maybe feel frustated to feeling like that but that is happening to you because you arent 100% okay and I think that almost all the people around the word when they werent 100% okay, they have feel like you are feeling right now.

I think that you need to have a long talk with your parents and tell how you really feel, now more than never you need all the love you can get. The help of the people around you can help you to get out and to start healing.

Remember you have us for anything you need, we care about you and we want you to keep living :raised_hands:

Take care :heart:

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