Bad habits and struggling

I’m struggling pretty hard right now. I lost my dad a few months ago which really has me on a spiral. Not only that but I’m grieving the end of a 13 year relationship. I’m falling back on old habits. Old coping mechanisms like self-harm because the pain inside hurts so bad and I feel myself disassociating from everything and even people in my life. My mom is not currently talking to me because of my divorce and her disapproval plus I know she is grieiving in her own way. I did start therapy again but I just don’t know what else to do or who to talk to. because I feel so alone.


Hey rsheyko,
thank you for coming back to us, thank you for reaching out.
this is a lot what you have to deal with right now, i am sorry to hear about the loss of our dad. my thoughts are with you.
and after a 13 year relationship, i can imagine how this must feel right now. i went through a break up from a 8 year
relationship a few years ago. it is hard to focus on things we like to do, on coping mechanisms or anything like that.
i hope your mom will talk to you soon again, that will help booth of you.
you are not alone my friend. even in times like this, even when everything seems to went downhill, everything what we learned on our journey is still there. the loss of someone important is everytime hard, we are never prepared for that. grief is a difficult thing to overcome. i am glad to hear that you started therapy again, that will help you.
maybe explore new things, some things that you could give a try ? writing your worries, your issues down completely but also the things you are grateful for in your life, the people you love and make you smile. fresh air always is a big help, a walk in the nature, outside. reach out to friends, you like to spend time with.
i am sure you will also overcome this, that might seem like a mountain for you. but you are strong ! you have done
a big step here, you show yourself vulnerable for us, that is strength. and an important first step.
take one step after another, that is important right now. never look to far ahead.
you are to be held, and not to be missed. take care please, you matter most :purple_heart: you are loved
feel hugged

From: Mystrose

Hi friend, welcome back. I’m so sorry that you’ve lost your dad and that you’re also grieving a long relationship. It’s really hard not to fall on bad habits, I have that problem too. I would encourage you to reach out to people you trust and not isolate yourself. It’s wonderful that you’re in therapy and being open and honest about what is going on will allow the therapist to teach you healthy coping skills. I’m sorry your mother isn’t being supportive, I wonder if you can convince her to have a talk about it, so you can work things out. You matter! ~Mystrose

1 Like

From: Mamadien

rsheyko, I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad. It really is hard to lose a parent, that feeling of being an orphan no matter what are age is so painful. It’s a lot of loss in the recent past, so it’s not totally unexpected that you would fall back on previous coping methods, even if they are detrimental to you. It’s good that you have already takent the step of getting into therapy and helping yourself change what you are doing to respond to what is happening to you. I’m sorry that your mother isn’t talking with you and I hope that with time she’ll change her mind and understand why your marriage ended. Until then, please keep taking care of you and please don’t isolate yourself. If you have a friend that you trust, do you feel safe in reaching out to them? As always, you can come here and post. We’re here to listen and let you know that you really aren’t alone. You matter my friend and I hope that you know how strong and amazing you are.

From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Firstly can I say how dreadfully sorry I am for your Loss, I cannot imagine what losing your Dad felt like and that on top of the end of your marriage and your Mum not wanting to talk to you , its all built up and up and has become too much baggage to carry around and its time to offload some of it and I truly hope by writing this post at least a tiny part has today. I am also really pleased you are in therapy as although I appriciate its an old coping mechanism so it probably doesnt feel like its so bad, I do not want you to be hurting youself and Im certain your dad wouldnt want that either. Anytime you need to talk, to let things out please feel free to post, it doesnt matter when or how many times, there are no rules on grief and no rules about how many times you post. I truly hope your therapy is helpful. Much Love Lisa. x

1 Like