I’m getting the strong desire to cut myself again, why am I this way why do I even exist.
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Hey lonelyfreak,
Have you heard about urge surfing? I use it a lot when I have the urge to self harm. I hope it helps you too.
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Hello lonelyfreak.
I am sorry you are going through this friend. Self harm is a nasty habit. It is an unhealthy coping mechanism. The reason why you have these urges is probably coping with stress or intense emotions but it can be something else too. Have you looked in the community resources channel on HS discord. I believe there are things that could help you. Hang in there friend and try to stay safe 
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No I’ve never heard of it.
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No I haven’t I don’t use discord.
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Ok. In that case I would like to recommend a video to you. I hope it explains some stuff to you and it helps you cope 
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7r5XWuNwi5Y&bpctr=1655818530
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Okay thank you for the video.
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From: I Am Reclaimer
Hey friend! I’m sorry that you want to harm yourself again. Sometimes the urges are powerful and hard to ignore. It may help you feel better, but only for a short time. My question is; do you have something you can do to take your mind off this? Whenever I get into one of these state of minds, I like to go for a walk outside. Regardless, I’m here for you and I’m glad you posted here. You got this my friend, stay strong!
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From: ManekiNeko
hey there, I really feel for you and for your burdens. I know things are weighing heavily on your heart right now and you have so much love and support here. When you are ready we would love to ensure perhaps a safety plan because your safety is always going to be a priority. Thank you for sharing your heart with us, I hope it helps lighten it for you.
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Well I would do that but it’s way to hot outside for me to go on a walk.
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Safety plan? What is that?
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Did you go to the site and read about it? It’s a skill I’ve learned in the therapy program I’m in.
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No not yet mostly been trying to will myself to not go to sleep.
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