So long story short my husband and I are not speaking at the moment. We exchanged words this morning and he hasn’t spoken to me since (6 hrs). I attempted to compromise with him on the issue and he just brushed off what I said. No yes or no.
I know he has a right to be mad. I’m just a little surprised he didn’t even acknowledge my compromise. So I’m giving him space. I just feel like trash.
It’s a feeling, not a fact. If you were anything less than a decent person, you wouldn’t have attempted to compromise. Maybe when you’re speaking again, the two of you can come to agreement on how to communicate and the benefit of not sulking for hours at a time. It does make sense, if emotions are running high, to give a bit of space, but after a few hours, hopefully, it’s time to reach out to the other person.
Hi my friend,
thank you for reaching out to us.
i hope that your situation will come to a good end. sometimes a little space is what it needs to think about things
that were said before. when emotions come into a “discussion” or something, it mostly ends bad, and things said that are hurtful or too much. go easy on yourself. arguing over something is not bad at all, i think that is life.
how you overcome it, is what shows our hearts.
you are not how you feel right now, you are a caring wife, and a wonderful mother. you showed that so many times
here. you matter most and you are loved.
how are things going with you sapphire? I’m sorry things got heated between you and your husband, there’s been a lot of stress by the sounds with the hours he’s been working and the care you’ve been giving. It’s understandable that tensions can get high.
does this mean you’re a “trash” person?! Of course not! It means that you both have met the end of the tether and that in a moment of frustration things were said. I hope that he’s had some time to cool off and been able to reapproach with clear minds. I know I also am someone who needs some space after a heated discussion/argument. Give yourself a bit of grace. Forgive yourself for the words that were said and know that in the moment we all are humans trying our best. Sending you some love for this coming week x
Hello, Sapphire! I want to start by agreeing with Wings that you may feel like you are trash but that certainly isn’t a fact. You and your husband are not in an ideal situation and it is making things difficult for you both. Communication is definitely key to working through things but it takes effort and openness from you both. How has the rest of your weekend gone? Have things improved any between you two? If not maybe you could say that you want to try and find a way to talk about it in an open way. Or maybe do something nice and simple together that has nothing to do with the discussion.
I hope you had a decent weekend regardless of this situation
Like Wings said, it is a feeling, and you have been trying to communicate with him. After a disagreement, it can sometimes take a while to diffuse the emotions. I’m sorry that you’re feeling so down after it, but your worth and value as a wife, mother, person, and a wonderful human are not affected.
I do hope that you can take a few moments and remind yourself that one disagreement or exchange of words is just one small moment in your overall relationship. Be kind and gentle to yourself while he waits to be able to talk about it. Disagreements are not condemnations, they’re things to work past or through.
I’m not sure what the conflict is, but sometimes we have to just get through it. When we are hurting we’re learning too. If what you did was bad then yeah it’s okay to feel like trash about it because that’s how we learn but you can’t hold onto it forever you know? I don’t really know you but based on you being here (i mean this in the best way possible) and owning up to your mistakes, means that you aren’t a trash human being. Even if you think you are trash, jus think about this. Trash has meaning, it served its purpose and maybe it still is. Right now you are a sad banana peel. You feel like you are worthless because you aren’t holding your banana anymore, but even if you’ve thrown yourself on the side of a dirty road YOU ARE FULL OF WORTH! That banana peel is on the side of the road giving yummy yums to the dirt below it. Just like you. You may feel like trash but you are going to be the reason this all heals up. You’re going to give the dirt some yummy yums. So don’t worry too much and just keep surviving. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” -kelly clarkson
To answer everyone’s question, my weekend is better. My husband acted as though nothing had happened when he got home from work. He wasnt mad or upset at me or anything that was said. On top of that, he seems to be going with my compromise as well. Other than that I have had a migraine all day, but knowing me, its from clenching my teeth all day yesterday.
I am so sorry to hear that you and your husband have had conflict. I hope that this doesn’t end up with him stonewalling you, because it sounds like at this moment, he is.
For context, Stonewalling is, well, what it sounds like. In a discussion or argument, the listener withdraws from the interaction, shutting down and closing themselves off from the speaker because they are feeling overwhelmed or physiologically flooded. Metaphorically speaking, they build a wall between them and their partner.
I know you both have been very stressed out with multiple things, and I’d encourage that maybe on a day off, you both do something stress-free and happy to give you both a break. Maybe even taking your daughter to a park to get a breath of fresh air and remind you both of the surroundings besides your home and work environment.
I’m glad to see things are getting better. I’m sorry for your guys’ troubles right now. Hoping for better days soon ahead. <3
You’re right. He is stressed by his job and I’m stressed mostly by working full time and taking care of Kiera full time. Also her home therapies fall in my responsibilities since my husband is always working so whenever they think theres an issue its always my fault which I hate.