I find myself comparing my pain to others and feeling like my struggles don’t matter because so many people are going through way worse. I feel like my worries are not valid but I don’t have a support system right now and I know the more I hold stuff in the more I spiral. Did something really hard today but actually proud of myself. I put my two weeks in because work has been causing so much stress and causing my mental health to decline. I keep worrying that I made the wrong choice. That I should have waited till I have another job lined up. So many what ifs. I feel like a failure because my stress always gets to me and I quit. I feel like I’m never going to find a job I can handle or even deserve. Trying to trust that this is good that there is a plan and something better. That I’m being brave and doing hard things without knowing the plan which is hard for me. Trying to give myself grace and not allow my mind to spiral. Taking it moment by moment. Trying to sit with my irritability and anxiety and know that I had peace yesterday and can find it again.
We are here for you my friend. We love you. You will find something you can handle or a way to handle it, just keep trying. So long as you keep trying you can never fail. If nothing else ive got your back. Stay strong my friend you’ve got this
Hi friend,
Each of us in this life have our own struggles that we fight through each day. Some people go through very difficult things and maybe even more difficult than what we endure. But that does not take away from your own struggles and the emotional, mental and physical impact it has on you. It’s important that we don’t compare ourselves to others. In any way. Whether it’s our struggles form day to day, our hobbies or how we look.
The truth is, yes. There is always someone out there that does what we do better. And yes, there is always someone out there who has it worse than we do. But it doesn’t make you any less valuable and it doesn’t make you, your life, struggles and feelings any less valid or important.
You are important. You matter.
I’m sorry that your job has been stressful for you. I understand. It’s hard for me to work a regular job in or out of home due to my disabilities and anxieties. I had a job for a while from home that was actually really good and I had to let it go because it was just very stressful and overwhelming for me. It really caused me a lot of sadness and made me feel like a failure because it’s so hard for me to function normally and hold up a job.
You are not alone my friend.
Try not to beat yourself up too much. Do what you need to do to focus on you, but try to also set little goals for yourself so that you can keep pushing forward and work towards the things that you need and want to achieve.
Allow yourself to take a short break to recoup and then maybe start making some steps and goals towards applications for jobs that maybe can work better for you
Is it possible for you to reach out to a therapist to help you work through your stress and struggles? To maybe help you work on handling the work place a little easier? I know that’s not always an option for everyone.
Keep hanging on, keep pushing forward. Take time to recollect and try again. I hope things work out for you and you start to feel better.
- Kitty
Thank you so much really appreciate it. I actually started to see a counselor in oct because work was really hard and I made more progress at this job than I have in the ten years of working. My anxiety and perfectionism used to be so bad before that I’d hyperventilate and constantly be on edge. I wouldn’t dare to try new positions. This last year and last few months I’ve pushed myself everyday. I’ve shown up and put a smile on my face and pushed threw health problems and stress. Things got better than my health got worse and I had multiple things going on at once with a lot of change in the work place and I spiraled but I’m working on overcoming a lot right now. I’m using my tools and doing the right things. Me getting out of this job took a lot of courage but it’s the best for me. It have come a long way and really trying to be proud of myself and see how much I’ve grown. I know that the doubts will be there but I’m doing my best to fight them and know I’m on the right path. I’ll get there just going to keep pushing forward.
Thank you really appreciate it. I know my efforts will pay off. I’m really trying to focus on how much progress I’ve made in the last few months especially at this job and know that I’m doing what’s best and something will work out. Even the fact that I put in applications and inquired about jobs is a huge step for me. Last month I was so scared I was in tears just thinking about putting in an application I sat in the parking lot for an HR and left without putting it in. Going to keep having faith that things will work out even if things get hard.
I know you were trying to help but I feel like you don’t know my situation at all. Me quitting is not giving up. I’ve overcome so much to work here. I’ve pushed myself everyday to do hard things to work new positions, to overcome mangers who were horrible, to talking to boss even though I hate conflict. I’ve done things at this job that I wouldn’t have even been able to do last year without crippling anxiety. Me getting out of this job is brave and courageous. People have told me for months to get out and I haven’t because change is crippling to me. I am getting out because I’m putting myself and my needs first. It’s not as simple as just going on meds or dealing with stress. Not everyone can afford meds and they don’t work for everyone. I’m already seeing a therapist and working all the time on not only anxiety but so many other things in my life. I’m sorry if this comes off harshly I just don’t like being told what I’m not doing and how to do things when you don’t know my full story.
Makes since but I know in my heart I am where I need to be and I’m not going to let anyone change my mind. Sorry that you feel the need to tell how to live my life and what I’m doing wrong. Only came here for support and to get things off my chest. You really don’t know anything about me. I hope you can choose to meet people where they are at and not just give advice and tell people what they are doing wrong.
You know, I understand you’re trying to offer support by giving some feedback but…
Mental health issues are real. The anxiety and stress of it is real. Yes, we have to do things to help ourselves come through those struggles, but coming forward, reaching out and expressing ourselves is a major step in the progress of healing.
If there is a point where someone needs to step back, you can’t tell them that they’re giving up and de-value their feelings by saying it’s nothing new, everyone under the sun deals with it and to get over it.
You can’t ever know what is going on with someone and why exactly there is stress and anxiety that leads to them needing to quit or step back.
Yes, we need to do things to help ourselves move forward and get better. But being told what you’re going through isn’t that big of a deal and to get over it, is far from healing or helpful. It’s hurtful.
You know?
As we encourage each other, we really have to remember to be careful how we respond and talk to each other. To be open minded with our each and Individual struggles. To be gentle and make sure that our tones and words aren’t hurtful. And we aren’t making each other feel devalued or less important.
Just a gentle reminder to maybe be more aware of how you deliver a message.
- Kitty