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Being ghosted is one of the most hurtful things. I’m a chronic over thinker so I go straight to the worst. My very best (and sometimes only) friend ghosted me a few months after high-school. 2 decades ago, they just stopped speaking to me and I genuinely have no idea why. I just want to know what I did so I can own it or give explanation. Instead it just felt like I lost a piece of my world and I’ll never get that back.
I feel like I could have written this very post. I’ve had a very similar experience, all I wanted was the opportunity to be able to apologise for what I did that sent them away without a word. Now I’ve come to realise that, really I’m not such a horrible person that can’t be approached and reasoned with, so if someone really wants to leave and not explain, then maybe it’s more on them. Maybe they aren’t good at communicating, maybe they had issues that were getting on top of them. And if you or I did do something wrong, we know in ourselves we would say sorry and try to make it better, and maybe that’s enough. It’s enough to know that you’re willing.
I’m so very sorry that you had to deal with such an experience of being ghosted by someone you were close to. It truly hurts when you care for someone but they just disappear suddenly, without a word, without any explanation. They made decisions for themselves, but on your end you are left with so many questions unanswered. And to keep on living while navigating this constant uncertainty is a real challenge. As you said so well, your mind gets directly into the worst places and explanations possible. It fuels so many what if’s scenarios that are very often turned against ourselves. You wonder what you could have done wrong, or what could have been done differently… over and over. It’s a seemingly endless and vertiginous fall. While to keep moving forward it feels necessary to have answers and get a sense of closure, the person who could provide it is the very one who burned bridges. It’s so heavy. My heart goes out to you, friend. Thank you for sharing.