In order for everyone to understand lemme give you a little background on me. My mother abadoned me for drugs when I was about 6 weeks old. Soon after my parents divorced and I was living with my aunt for the first four years of my life. That was my mother figure and I thought I was a good kid I made good grades very smart and polite. But it all changed when my dad got custody of me again. From the day that he got me back I have been screamed at for the smallest things I do wrong been bullied by middle schoolers and if I get something wrong he will go out of his way to prove me wrong but I ask myself to what cause. I have to sit outside on the curb and question my existence everyday. Asking why should I even be here if I just make everything worse. I am tired of the yelling at me I am tired of being called a b****** a mf and a son of a b****. I am tired of having to look back at my child hood and see me getting bullied by older kids that constantly shout racial slurs at me and shoot paintballs at me all I want is help all I want is someone there
I think you should go back to your aunt. She probably treated you better than your dad.
I’ve done that and I got shot in the face with a paint ball gun
Man, what a tough situation to be in. This is something that I can relate to on a deep level because I was raised in a home where my mom was an addict and alcoholic. There were times where I had to live with my grandparents and times I had to be in foster care. Like you I was bullied a lot, degraded and left feeling like I didn’t matter. I felt unloved, unwanted and like I didn’t deserve to even exist.
Our situations are slightly different but still very similar and I’m very sorry that you have to face so much pain in a place that should be showing you love and support.
Is it possible at all to talk to your Aunt again? And share what is going on at home with your dad?
If not, if you are ever feeling like you are not safe, or you are hurting and feeling at a low point and just need to talk to someone. I encourage you to reach out to https://www.crisistextline.org/ - it’s a TEXT crisis hotline where you can text and talk to someone who can help you and connect you to resources if you need. It’s important to reach out when you are not feeling okay or if things are going on that are concerning. They can guide you safely through whatever you need.
If you are going to school and struggle with bullying I encourage you to reach out to a teacher, school counselor or a principal and talk to them about what is going on. They also can help you okay? Don’t be afraid to reach out for help.
You matter and you deserve to be helped, listened to and supported.
Stay strong friend
Thank you but the part about teachers or consulers I have tried that and all they did was be racist towards me
There has to be some sort of an adult that you can go to. Even if it’s a different teacher or school counselor. It is there job to support and help out. Try going to a different teacher if the first one was not helpful.
the situation you’re enduring is unfair and you definitely deserve much better, especially when it comes to love, care and support.
Do you know of anyone at all who can provide you with sincere attention?
hope to hear from you, BIG HUGS!
Hi Maymay - first, welcome to the community!
Second - I can tell you’re really struggling with your family and home situation. From your responses to others, maybe even the adults at your school… Beyond what others have provided or suggested, is there a community center near you? Sometimes they will have a community growth program for youth or big brother/sister type setups. Some churches will do mentorships as well, depending on your religion or affiliations. I know for my kid, she was struggling with some things and we went through a few counselors - including her school counselor - to find the right one for her, same for me - it took talking to a few people to find one I actually liked. Would you be able to access a counselor outside of your school? Again something like a community center or church might offer that.
I sincerely hope you are able to find an adult ally who can help you work through your situation and come out the other side stronger and more resilient. <3
I’m really sorry about giving that bad advice about how to respond to the bullies. I made things just made things worse. For now on I’ll give wiser advice.