It feels like a needle inside of me, like my body just rejected everything. I feel…off, different. Something’s missing, something important. Friends? Check. People who genuinely care? Double check. I feel no loyalty to me name right now, I only feel a need to fully replace what I am, to let someone else have my face and my body, and just let me rest. Dissociation personality sounds like gold to me right now, almost as if my mind craves to simply not exist. Can’t kill myself, the guilt and fear keep holding me back. So why not be something else, just let another person take control of me. I am after all, just a disappointment. Something just to leave behind, a toy. God doesn’t seem to help me, despite my pleas.
Make me wonder if its because he doesn’t ’ exist, or just because I deserve it. Whatever I have done must be deserved, I can only say that. I don’t need anyone to tell me god loves me or whatever, it just sounds disingenuous, unoriginal. And all of us are on here to make each other feel like someone cares.After all, we all want others to hear our stories, to simply be understood. Only reason why things like the zodiac, Hogwarts houses, or the Myers-Briggs test exist. Pretty much all personality tests you ever will take just one vague, similar-ish personality and romanticizes it. Of course, personality tests rely on the Barnum effect in order to be profitable (despite never using any evidence).Truly, they are bogus. It makes me realize just how little truly see, how everything is based on our perspective. As put greatly by someone, “seeing is Believing”. Well said