i’ve had countless traumas throughout my life and i’ve always been getting flashbacks every now and then especially nowadays when my depression is on its peaks.
once had a therapist said that “i should switch my focus to positive things” but isn’t that only gonna distract and nothing else? i’ve traumas that are old like 10 years and therefore i’m not effected by em as much as the new ones but that does not mean i am healed from those traumas or whatever i just remember less often.
people say u must “confront trauma” but what the hell does that even mean? u aknowledge the reasoning of the trauma ok then what? i don’t understand how can one ever heal from a trauma.
distraction is distraction. not what u call healing
To be frank, this is stupid advice for overcoming trauma. Focusing on the positive isn’t inherently bad, but disregarding everything else is the opposite of what you should do.
I have a lot of trauma as well and have been in and out of therapy for many years. It was only after being matched with an actual trauma therapist that anything actually changed.
I can only speak for myself with this specific question, but for me, it was not exactly confronting the trauma itself but how it made me feel and exploring what that hurt part of myself really needed in order to let go and start to heal. I learned a lot about my mindset, how I could approach the trauma differently and how I can help other traumas heal. Of course I think treatment would be different for everyone since we all process things in our own unique ways.
Long story short, yes, it is possible to overcome trauma with the right help. Emphasis on the right help. I can definitely understand your frustration. I got the wrong help for so long I thought I could never get better for a long time. 4 sessions with a trauma therapist did more for me than years of therapy with a regular therapist. Are you ant trauma therapists in your area?
This sort of thing must be followed with strategies for doing so.
It can be a powerful thing if you can acknowledge the positives in your life. It does not mean that you are distracting yourself from trauma or pretending the trauma doesn’t exist.
I think of it as a way of helping your brain remember that there is good in the world, in your own world and make it a bit easier to alter the way you think.
I inadvertently just did the same in a reply to your other post, where I suggested cultivating gratitude as a way to tackle envy. Maybe that is somewhat close to what the therapist was talking about? Does gratitude ignore your trauma? No. Does it distract from it? No. It presents a truer picture of what you “have”, and it is a tiny tiny step forward to building a tiny corner peaceful corner in your mind.
(not a therapist ofc just my thoughts)
i’ve also thought that it was stupid advice. i didn’t know trauma therapy was a thing beside regular therapy. sadly i cant afford going on therapist for now. i will do when i can afford it if it wont be too late.
You’d be surprised with the kind of help that is out there for you. If you are in the USA, call the Behavioral Health Dept for your county and ask if you are eligible for any of the services they offer. There are a lot of different programs and in some states if you have medical insurance your mental health costs will be paid in full.
You can also call 211 to see if they have any resources that you can take advantage of.
Mystrose did bring up some good resources to try out. There are definitely a lot of different resources basing around trauma that could be beneficial for you until you can get back into therapy.
These are just two websites out of the many ones they have on the internet. You might have to take some time and research to find ones that may help, but I hope this can be a good starting point.
Every person has a different journey on overcoming their trauma or finding closure on things that have happened. That’s a big reason why therapists are so important. They are the ones that can help you on that journey. They know what to look for on how the trauma is affecting you and how to start working on it. Sometimes the tools they give to us to use don’t seem logical until they get put into place and used and a difference in something (feelings, thoughts, etc) begins to happen.
Personally, I don’t believe it’s stupid to think about the things you’re grateful for. As Sita said, it’s not meant to be distracting but to remind you of the good things in your life currently. It can help to bring some peace in your life. There’s nothing that can take away the bad things that happened but there are ways of feeling better despite them. I think that the therapist was trying to give you a tool, something that you can do yourself, without them, while you wait to be able to get back in to see them. Do I think it’s the only thing that is going to help overcome your trauma? No. Are you going to be able to think of something you’re grateful for for only one day and feel better for life? Heck no. Getting better takes time. It takes effort. It takes steps. This is just a first step. And it won’t hurt you if you put it into place. It doesn’t cost anything to think about the things you’re grateful for. I’m only telling you how I see this personally.
My first step was meditating. Doesn’t make sense, does it? But it brought me peace. Spending that time not thinking about what I normally would think about and looking for that inner peace while just sitting when all I felt was confusion and self-hatred brought a lot of peace to my life that otherwise I wouldn’t have.
