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Cannot Go On

Hullo, I’m new to this forum. I have come here for advice, as I simply don’t know what to do from here.

I have been very close friends with someone for a few years and they recently have just cut literally all ties from me. It has left me incredibly lethargic and depressed. I already deal with extreme depression and anxiety so this hasn’t helped at all.

I am on spring break right now but I have to return to university on Monday and I cannot face that fact. I can’t be alone and I can’t even comprehend all the work I have to return to. I think I’m going to have a full-on nervous breakdown if I return. I really can’t handle anything right now and I just want to curl up and die.

I simply cannot face going on. I cannot. What would you folk suggest I do? I would greatly appreciate all feedback.

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Hey Osmium

Welcome to the Heart Support wall! How did you hear of us?

I’m sorry to hear about your friend. Seems like there is quite a few people on the forums right now who have been struggling with friendships. I’ve read a few now that seem to have some similar struggles.

Do you want to talk a little bit about what happened to the friendship and why you think they cut you off? You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know sometimes being able to vent a little bit helps. Sometimes it’s just nice to be heard.

You know, a lot of my friends who are off to college see a counselor while they get through their studies and have said that it really has made a huge difference for them and their mental health. Do you think this is something that could of help to you? Maybe it could help you worth through your anxiety, friendships and depression.

Friend, I know you are hurting right now, but you are not alone in all of these feelings. Here, I’m going to leave the link to the Heart Support discord. Where you can join if you want, to connect with other people around the community. If you aren’t already. https://discord.gg/z6wyy7

Something that I do when I’m feeling stressed is blog or journal. I have a private blog that I write on over on Tumblr. But I also recently started journaling. I bought a binder and some paper just for this. Got some nice pens, gel pens, pencils and highlighters. Writing can be very therapeutic. Self reflect a little bit. I know with being in University, writing may feel like you already do a lot of that. But taking some time out for you to just write out how you are feeling can be really healthy. Unless you prefer to blog where it can be safe from roommates.

Something else I have turned to in the past was making collages. Cutting things out that I felt connected to. Photos, words…anything really. Visual journaling is also therapeutic.

Meditation is always a great way to help clear your head and deal with depression or anxiety. Youtube has a lot of videos and audio. There is also https://www.headspace.com/

Relaxing and calm music is good for clearing the mind. Good for studying. Good for helping you sleep. Lots of that can also be found on youtube. There is also this site that I really enjoy: https://rainymood.com/ Which I believe can also be put on your found. There’s an app.

Friend, I’m really sorry that you’re struggling right now. But if you want to talk a little bit about the situation with your friend, willing to listen. Or some of what is causing your depression and anxiety.

Your feelings matter. What you’re going through matters. <3

Much love

  • Kitty

There should be a contact center that you can explain your circumstances of what you are going thru. I believe it’s called withdrawal and readmission. You may need a doctor’s note but you should definitely contact them. I had a friend of mine who was able to do this. It will probably show up as “I” or “Incomplete” on your academic record but it gives you time to recover and return back to it.

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Hi friend, where to begin?

I’ll just tell you about a similar situation I dealt with back in 2013-15. I just started in college and I only had one friend at the time that I spoke with. At the same time I was dealing with issues of thinking that I won’t amount to anything and I would never get out of the town I lived in. So, I was super depressed and listening to music that only made it worse. On top of that I struggled with math and would skip class because I thought to myself I wouldn’t be able to get through it anyway. When Christmas or Spring breaks came around I would find some relief, but also feel like you when the breaks were coming to an end. To make things worse, my only friend at the time stopped college courses and started a job and even married. I felt even worse, I thought that I was just a failure and I wouldn’t accomplish anything. This led to porn/sexual addiction and it spiraled out of control. It got to a point to where I was contemplating suicide. The breakthrough for me was when someone reached out to me randomly in class during 2015. He motivated me, this support forum also motivated me. I started to see purpose although I didn’t know what it was at the time. I dealt with loneliness like you with lack of friendship, and yea, I too had nervous breakdowns about multiple things. I’m sorry about your friend, I know you’re hurt and confused.

However, I know you can push through even when you don’t want to. I know school can pile up the stress and having no one there can make it even harder. But, everyone here at HeartSupport is here to help. Doesn’t matter how old or how bad your situation is. We’re here for you. I’m proof that these people care for you. They’ve listened to my struggles and gripes for years.

I don’t know if you believe in God or not. I struggled with the belief for years, but continued to pursue because I wanted change. That pursuit has led me to belief and in turn built up my confidence, and brought me out of tough situations. The other day I was saved from doing something terrible because I decided to trust. I’m not saying you have to believe, I’m just telling you what has helped me throughout the years. HeartSupport and God.

Find something you believe in or want to achieve. Pursue it, and when tough times come, come back here and there will be help waiting. I know right now you’re feeling awful, but I want you to push forward so you can tell us all the success and happiness you’ve had in the future. I believe you will be happy and successful, and you’ll have true, trustworthy friends.

I love you, this community loves you, and I hope you understand that you have worth. =)

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