Once again, I find myself spiraling down a deep dark hole of dreariness. I fucking binged again and now I’m tempted to go and make myself sick just to feel clear of all the shit I’ve eaten. I don’t know what to do anymore and I am legit about to go insane, my mind is going at like 5939238 miles a second and honestly, I don’t know how much more I can fucking take.
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Stop thinking! Just kidding. I know that’s not really possible. I do think it’s possible to slow your thoughts down. You can keyword relaxation techniques in Google, or YouTube.
You can’t fix yesterday. Beating yourself up and bad mouthing yourself will make it much more difficult for you to overcome negative habits.
It may not seem like it, but every setback can help you to better understand yourself, and you have a bit more experience to draw upon regarding what triggered the binge.
Think about all those times that you avoided binging. It might help to keep track of how you have been feeling, both at times would you were able to avoid binging, and times you weren’t.
When cravings and urges come up, you can fight them, and it will feel as though they are fighting you back for dominance. What if you regard those urgings as though they were like a child, screaming for attention. What if you could acknowledge that child’s presence, then turn away from it rather than empower it by fighting.
All you really need to worry about, in fact the only thing you can do anything about, is what you do in the present moment. In each moment, remember you have options. You can tell yourself there is something else you can do besides listening to that wailing child.
The past does not have to define the future. Yet you can allow the experience of it to strengthen you.
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