Hey guys. It’s been a while since I’ve been on the message board. To be honest I’ve been just struggling to survive. I’ve relapsed back into self harm a few different times this year. 2019 has been a year of so much pain and loss. I’ve been to too many funerals this year, with another one at the end of the month, for people who passed to young from health related issues. Add in some growth issues for my young son and I just don’t know how much more bad news I can take. I’ve thought more and more about hurting myself just to cope with everything going on. I just want to feel okay again and I can’t seem to. I want to be able to just disappear until I feel better. I know cutting isn’t a healthy way of coping with everything but I just can’t help it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Something has to give or I’m not going to make it through this.
I can’t relate to the desire to cut myself, but I can relate to wanting it all to end. The past two years for me have been incredibly tough for me. It can be challenging, but having the right perspective helps tremendously. You talked about your young son. Maybe think about how much he needs you. Imagine what how he would feel, what he would do if you weren’t there anymore. So shifting the focus off ourselves and our problems does help. I am very sorry to hear of all the losses you’ve suffered lately. Life can definitely be tough at times. But there is hope. You are loved. I’ll be keeping you in my prayers.
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