My life is passing me by, but i also feel like I hardly care when I should. Things feel meaningless and I have positives sparks of motivation to make a change but it slowly fades. I have been feeling this way since middle school and everything since has been desensitized. Im rather stoic and emotionless towards everyone, even to my own family.
This happens to me quite often, I will go through years at a time where I’ll feel completely listless. The fact that you felt sparks before is encouraging because I think that means it’s there inside you, you just need to keep fighting for it. Have you gotten professional help? I know it’s not an easy step to take, but especially if it’s something that’s followed you around for a long time, it can be very hard to get out of that funk by ourselves. I hope you are able to find that passion for life again, and in the meantime just remember to be okay with okay. Nothing wrong with that!