I’ve been struggling with feeling of loneliness, emptiness, hopelessness and worthlessness. I’ve been dealing with depression for a few years now and struggle with suicidal thoughts and anxiety. I really don’t think I can hold on much longer.
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I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. Talk to someone, and/or tell us what’s going on.
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Hello:
First - not any day would your life be worthless. Though my heart apologies that you feel any of those, and I understand the stress that such showcases, know that you are far from worthless. Many have felt lonely, empty, hopeless, and worthless. So you are not alone in this.
Sometimes knowing that there are others in the battle to fight those feelings and thoughts can help you find that depth of reason to keep on. I’m sharing this video in case this beneficially helps you find a fellowship and an anthem to know there is always a reason to fight for yourself. You deserve happiness. You deserve to feel joy. You deserve to feel better:
It’s not cowardly to ask for help. Asking for help shows strength, love for yourself, and bravery. So, if you feel sad or ashamed about what you have happening - do not. Plenty feel the same and never want you to give up.
Reach out and ask for help. You deserve to live.
Thankful for your pathways.
God Bless,
John German
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It’s so hard when you feel like a slow drain of your grip. It’s like hanging on the edge of a cliff and feeling your hands give way before they do - watching one finger at a time, knowing what is coming. You want someone to catch you, to pull you up - or for a platform to be raised beneath you so you land on it instead of falling. Something, anything. It is this moment of desperation - a plea for something to change, something to help you hang on / get out / land safely. But it feels like each day that passes is this disappointment, this dying of hope, eroding of strength/willingess.
It’s brutal. It’s hard to accept. There’s this part of you that rages against it. That won’t let go, won’t give up. But you also see the piece in you that is letting go. And you don’t know which one to feed.
Honestly, it makes sense. When things are bad, get worse, and don’t trend in any other direction, it feels like jumping off a sinking ship - a logical decision right?
I’ve been in that spot myself. I remember staring at my life and just feeling fucking awful and thinking, “If this is going to be the way it always is, what’s the point?”
The thing I’ve found is that that position is based on an assumption that “it will always be this way or worse”. It uses the past to project to the future. And if there’s anything that I can say looking back on that time in my life it’s that I had no idea what my future held. And I’m glad I stayed to see it.
One of the things I think is really helpful to re-discovering hope is making sense of your pain. Often times, when I was at my low, I was feeling OVERWHELMED with pain. And when I’m OVERWHELMED, the challenge is, it all feels too much - too big - to see what’s actually happening. When in reality, it’s 2 or 3 things that are solvable, when they’re combined, I can’t see the individual trees, I just see the forrest.
A practical thing could be retracing your story backwards to the last time that you were feeling excited or hopeful or joyful or passionate in life (doesn’t have to be huge, so the answer can’t be “never”), and to think forward from that point to try to understand when things started to change. What stole that hope? Snuffed the excitement? Killed the joy? Pinpointing specific pieces may be helpful, because when pain is NAMED, it cuts the power out of the unknown/invisible, and it puts hope back in your hand because a problem that is seen is a problem that can be solved.
I think my main point is to say this: it sounds like you are in the middle of a storm, and have been for some time, and believe that it may never end. You are not alone in that feeling. And I am here to tell you there was another side to the storm in my life, and I believe there is in yours too. Because you reached out here - you don’t have to be alone in navigating the waters in the meantime. Thank you for your courage.
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