ClairePics Fan #1

I just moved and I don’t know anybody here. None of my friends from back home have checked on me, and the few times we’ve made a plan for them to come here, they cancel. I just feel very forgotten and pushed aside.

Gah, that really sucks man…to feel like you made this big move and like what it proved was what you feared most…that you matter less to the people you loved than you hoped…or don’t matter enough for them to remember or follow through with their plans…and so you’re in the middle of a massive transition and feel terribly alone. I’m sorry friend :\ I remember having a similar difficulty with my transition to college…the first night was this knife in my gut realizing – omg, I’m actually alone. No one knows me, no one cares about me, and it’s just me now…I was really afraid it’d never change. You’re not alone in what you’re feeling, and I’m glad you shared your heart here, friend.

I am very guilty of being on the opposite side of this. I have not burned bridges so much as neglected them and watched them decay, and I have lost a number of friendships as a result. I blame myself entirely for it though, and not the friends who moved away. My best friend graduated community college, and I didn’t I was ashamed but very happy for her. She went on to university and we still talked, sometimes, but I felt like I was holding her back. She showed no signs of thinking this but more and more I distanced myself and tried to justify it to myself by saying her success was there and she was meeting new people, better people. It got to the point where we have barely spoken over the past 5 years, despite being best friends for 5 years before that and our families being super close. She graduated with her doctorate and moved back home, has invited me over multiple times to hang out like we always used to, and because of how bad I let it get I am too ashamed, scared, I don’t know what, to go over. I have been once or twice and am very uncomfortable each time through no fault of hers. It may not be you at all, this is just my experience, but it is very easy to look internally. I spent all that time thinking she would hate me for my failures because I hated myself for them. When she got back after all the time she showed me that is clearly not the case and because of the mindset I put myself in I just can’t break that feeling. I guess what I am saying is just know that they may have something going on too and that you shouldn’t find fault in yourself for what you are feeling. I let myself get too far into it and this is just one of several friendships I have let decay because of it. Make the most of your opportunities, meet new people, and when your friends are available and want to reconnect let them, don’t deny yourself that or feel forgotten because you probably aren’t.

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