Codependency is Killing Me

Codependency is like having an addiction to someone. They are your crutch…and when they’re not around its almost like going through withdrawals. Separation anxiety, thoughts about how to fix the situation go to the level obsession. Because its an addiction they call it a disease.

It sounds crazy, but it’s killing me. I miss my best friend. She’s been so busy lately with her boyfriend, she almost never talks to me. I wake up and feel like I’m panicking at the thought of being home alone all day while people are gone. I hate the obsessive thoughts, everything just leads back to please send me a message or call me or visit me. The worst part is I know I’m not just going to wake up tomorrow and have this all be gone.

I know in a healthy world, I can’t rely on her presence to always be around. But getting to that healthy place scares me a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever been there.

Im afraid I’ll never have a quality life. I want to know that I won’t always feel this way. I’m not happy even in the presence of family. I need encouragement to know this isn’t forever.

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Hello there <3 first off, *hugs from me and i’m really glad that you’re aware of what’s hurting you. It’s okay and normal to feel the way you do, it’s just a phase in life. It does feel heavy and bad now, but I want you to be aware that it is only temporary, we are subjected to change every single day and there are so many interesting things to learn out there :slight_smile: it’s only normal for the mind to be fixated on the negativity since we’re biologically programmed to think and respond from it as survival skills. But I want you to know that no matter what emptiness or any form of hurt you feel, they are temporary and You Are Enough. You Are Always Enough and no one can fill that up for you except for you <3 Give it some time okay? It may be hard Now, but feelings change and they fade. You Are Enough and always have been. Focus on you and tell yourself that You Are Enough, let it sink into your system and once you start to fuel yourself up with self awareness and self love, no one will ever have the power to manipulate you in any way. Easier said than done, but the key is baby steps, small steps and big priority. A lot of us make the common mistake that I want to feel better Instantly, I want results Instantly. But love, it takes time. Patience and endurance. Start off small, build your way up and results will set in soon <3 You got this okay? Again I will repeat, You Are Enough :slight_smile:

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Thank you for your kindness. You speak from a place of affectionate wisdom. I see you specifocally on other people’s posts too. So kind. I pray God blesses you for being so wonderful and self giving.
Its hard during the pain to look past it. But i think in those moments, just focusing on calming down is whats important. Baby steps, like you said.

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You’re absolutely welcome and hey I thank you for such kind words in return. You’re a very beautiful person and I believe in you a whole lot! Don’t rush yourself okay? You’re in your own time and at your own pace, we’ll be here when you need us <3 It is hard I agree… pretty much insanity yeah?.. But it’s okay! We got each other and that’s what matters <3 You are enough and we are all enough <3

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This isn’t forever, friend!!

For SURE. Especially since you’re taking action to seek help for this…even just the act of posting on here and saying, “I have a problem, and I don’t know how to fix it,” is a HUGE step in the right direction.

You are not crazy for feeling what you’re feeling! Loneliness is something EVERYONE deals with on one level or another.

I would just get curious as to why you’re afraid to be alone – where did that fear come from? Where do you first remember feeling that way? If you can start to understand why it is you’re feeling this way, you might just find that it’s not “loneliness” you’re afraid of, it’s feeling afraid or feeling sad or something else that is easier to solve. Or you might find that loneliness isn’t the problem, but worthlessness is, and the presence of others is one tool to help you ease that pain…whatever the case, you can better address the problem if you better know what the problem is. It would be worth journaling about if you’d be willing!

Either way, you’re not crazy, you’re not alone, and you’re taking steps in the right direction, so hold onto hope because this won’t last forever!!



Hello friend, thanks for reaching out.

I didn’t know about the word but I can say I’ve suffered from codepedency (a lot) before.

I think the main issue here is that you have no one else like your best friend (which is normal) so you miss them so much it’s driving you insane. However, to answer your question, this definitely isn’t forever. You’ll find someone to share you life with sooner or later. I haven’t done already, but I’ve learned how to enjoy my life alone (even if all of my friends are engaged/married) and it feels better than ever.

Try to start doing things alone and you’ll quickly learn that you don’t always need someone else to be happy or enjoy your days!

Keep us updated

Pioggia :sunflower:

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Thank you. It feels good hearing it from someone who’s been there.


I will keep digging, journaling and processing will help for sure.
I can’t make these feelings go away right now. But in the meantime, even though i dont have the energy to do it, I am trying to focus on making goals and thinking about things I want to see happen.
I find when I’m on my up, I make and start a lot of projects, and when I’m down I can’t do them/am overwhelmed.
I’m trying to find my balance but also recognize it’s okay to take small steps now, and not beat myself up over it…


Remember to set smart goals. Do not dream big now, keep it simple. List priorities, and divide them into smaller goals that will help you reach your success. I started doing that months ago and I kept doing it for every objective set

Here is a solution, have more than one best friend. That way when you feel lonely you have a backup.

Not very human, but a support is a support.