Coming out about my porn addiction

i’ve never told anybody this before, but i’m addicted to porn. I was addicted for about 3 or 4 years before i really tried to quit, i’ve been trying to quit for over a year now but i haven’t been able to stop for more than a 10ish days at the most. recently it’s been at almost the worst even though i’m trying to quit, i’ve basically almost given up i guess. I just feel so defeated by this. I began watching because i got rejected by someone i really loved, it doesn’t hurt as much anymore but the addiction it left me with sure does. How do i dig myself out of this trench?

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Just work on it one day at a time. Set easy goals. Focus on other things

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How do I keep it consistent though, even if I can last a couple days like that I always fall short when the urge to watch comes

Addiction is not a habit change as much as it is a whole life change. It has to do with the pain under the use. For me it’s a drink, for you it’s a view. But the pain under it, of which you are conscious, is the true work. And therefore it cannot be trivialized as ´just this happened’. It’s a long hard road. What helped me is people who went before me and have more 24h free than I do. 12-step programs are truly beautiful places to start. And online, people who talk about their experience free of addiction, any addiction is truly helpful. I love the work of Dr. Gabor Mate and the words of Russell Brand on the topic. It’s truly up to you. Treat yourself kindly my friend. And every day without is still a day free of addiction. Still count them as free days and keep track. If you can do those, you can do more. Before watching, call a friend, make yourself feel true love from yourself, from people around you. Our addictions are empty promises, seek true people, communities you care about. You will heal this, one day after the other. And more days with freedom will come. :white_heart:

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You took the first step here, the hardest step: admitting you have an addiction. No one likes admitting that they aren’t in control of what they do for fun. No one likes admitting that it has a hold on their lives.

From here, the key to starting your recovery journey is accountability. Find a group, whether it’s 12 steps (Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, etc.), a recovery group like Celebrate Recovery, or another alternative. For me and at least one other forum member, Pure Desire was a very effective faith-based option. In any of these groups, everyone is there for the same reason. They won’t judge you. They have all been exactly where you are, and they will celebrate that you want to take positive steps toward freedom from addiction. When you’re in community like that, when you feel less alone, it’s amazing how much stronger you feel. It’s also amazing to tell someone that you’re battling an addiction. When you set your secrets and shame free, they no longer own you. You won’t be consumed with hiding your addiction if it’s no longer hidden.

Good luck on your journey. Porn addiction is really hard to quit, but when you’re ready to call it out and say “no more,” you will start to slowly gain ground and find freedom. Hold fast :hrtlegolove:

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Hey Friend,

I highly recommend Porn Blockers.

Check out Covenant Eyes.

I use it as well and it has been a massive big difference in my life.

From going days on end to none at all. Yes, there are tough days but I have my circle of friends for the support that I call and grab a coffee with to get away from the desire. Sometimes I’ll go run to burn out the energy that is there longing for it. Seriously working out really helps. Replace that addiction with a healthy habit and you will go far. It won’t be perfect but it will be for the better.

Anyone can be shown that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Yet you need and have to want to start setting the boundaries to get through it.

Hold Fast.
MorganVinHoch

I highly recommend checking out Action Group if you want a support group through this. Set that Goal and own it! Look forward to seeing your growth.

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Thank you for the response, I didn’t know porn blockers were even a thing so thank you, I will check that out. I keep telling myself I’m too busy to work out but if I’m not busy enough to watch porn then I’m not busy enough to go on a walk or to the gym. Also, I sent Dan a dm on discord yesterday, I am going to meet with my group on Monday :slight_smile:

Thank you for the inspiration
Adamdrums

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Thank you for the response, It’s so hard to see the pain when you have an urge, i hate that i can’t even go a day without wanting to watch porn. i wish all of this could just end now. The only problem i have with these sex based groups is that i am under the age of 18, i don’t know what to do. It’s gotten to the point where i can’t sleep anymore, is this something i could talk about in therapy? I have been considering that option lately…

“no more.”
Adam

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Hi there @Adamdrums,

Thank you for reaching out here and for identifying your addiction; I know that doing so take massive courage and I’m so glad that you’ve decided to post here.

I sincerely understand that feeling of just wishing that addiction has an off switch — that it could just stop. I know that it’s so hard, and am proud of you for your resilience in handling these challenges that addiction throws at you. Unfortunately, the route to handling addiction isn’t straightforward and will have many twist, turns, and even steps backward at times. However, I am confident that after all these twists and turns, you will be able to get to a point that you are happy with.

This also is a more personal topic for me as I suffer from a variant of the same addiction. However, if it gives you any hope, I feel that my relationship with the addiction has gotten slightly healthier with time and effort, though I still have a long ways to go. This is all to say that you are not alone in this. I, along with many others in this forum, are going through or have gone through the same thing and we all are rooting for you!

For me, exercising helped a little to alleviate (or at least ride out) urges, so that isn’t a bad idea and I’ve frequently seen it suggested. Also, if there’s anything in particular you associate with the addiction, if you’re having strong urges, it may be worth trying to temporarily avoid those associated items/behaviors/places (though this has worked for me, I’m not sure if this helps much in the long-term so this may need some fact checking).

You also can definitely bring this up in therapy! If they aren’t directly able to help there, then they should at least be able to refer you to someone who can be more helpful. For reference, I know this is different than therapy, but I’m also a minor and I’m going to bring the topic up (among other topics) with my GP in my next visit. It’s always a good idea to bring these topics up if you want to discuss them with a professional!

I want to reiterate that I sincerely understand what you are going through; I used to be at a point where I couldn’t go a day and couldn’t sleep without porn (more accurately masturbation, but same idea). Then the time lost to porn further disrupts sleep (along with time worrying about the addiction and wishing it was gone). It really sucks, doesn’t it? I promise that it gets better though — that may be how it feels now, but it won’t feel that way forever.

I just want to emphasize that there’s no shame in having an addiction, regardless of how frequently you view porn, and I’m so glad that you reached out here. I’m wishing you all the best of luck and have faith in your abilities to push through this! <3

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You can definitely talk about it in counseling! I have with my counselor and my psychiatrist. They’ve given me good recommendations for treatment programs, but they’ve also gone into what’s going through my head. There are counselors that specialize in sex addiction, and I’m probably going to switch to one of those (my psych gave me a couple names).

As for programs, I couldn’t find much for people under 18, but Celebrate Recovery has a program called The Landing for middle and high school aged people. You can find a local group at celebraterecovery.com. Even if it’s not right for you, they should be able to point you in the right direction.

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