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Confess about a friend

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#1

Recently, I end a friendship dues for a lot of personal reasons. He was bugging about staying in my beach house, we kept telling him no. Then, he was crying how im bad friend and treating him unfair. There was alot family staying in my beach house during the week and my sisters would not want to share a room with my friend for obsively reasons. The thing is he just suck having up. I try my very best to be good host, but he was a really annoying stupid guest. It like hanging out with a 10 year old fucking day without a break.

One these many day I try keep my cool and not flip out on him. In addition, he would not stop asking about the fucking beach house for months. Last text, I said to him is stop asking about the beach house. Then he said, I had fucking anger issues.

For all self work on angers issue, self harm, DBT and going to therpy, this fucking asshole said I dont care of my issues.

Recently he been text my mother, Trying get her to take his side and guilt of being a shitty person. Then he told her, I need to seek anger manger, and need fix my problems. Mainly, he try pull thrick that is grandfather is dying and that he need me.

Honestly , fuch him. I know sound like a terrilbe human being. Im tired of him making feel like asshole that self center, where let him go to my beach house in the past, gave him rides, support him, took to places and did everything for him. I have dark though of beating the shit out him, cuase he get me that anger. Cause is really a guilt trip, to get me to feel bad him and do what he want to do. This way I hate people, Im sorry im not a fcuking perfect person.

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#2

You’re not a terrible person, you were trying to set boundaries with him so that you can check in with yourself and your family. Nothing wrong with that. You told him no several times and he still didn’t respect that. And for him to accuse you and get your mom in on the situation is ridiculous. You don’t need that kind of toxicity in your life and don’t need the extra stress. For him to say you have anger issues despite you addressing the various concerns in your life is uncalled for. You’re doing the best you can to address it and for him to pull that card is uncalled for. Honestly, I think you are better off without him. I know it’s easier said than done but no reason to feel guilt over it because you were trying to set healthy boundaries and he didn’t respect that. It’s not selfish if you are trying to make sure you are okay, in fact before you can be there for someone else, you have to make sure where you are at first so that you are not stretched thin. Keep hanging in there and keep trying to the best you can with what is going to work for you.

#3

Uh, he’s the bad guy here. What makes him feel entitled to a trip to your beach house? Letting him stay there is a real treat, one he should be grateful for. If he expects it, it’s not a treat anymore. If he doesn’t understand that a particular time is bad, like when the place is bursting with family, he’s the asshole. If he’s an unrepentant bad guest, he’s the asshole. If he thinks you’re a bad friend because you won’t take him to your family’s (not your own) beach house, he’s the asshole. And if he goes behind your back to complain about you too your mom about stuff not related to your safety and well-being, he’s an enormous asshole. You’ve been really patient for not flipping out on him, and I’m proud of you for that, but don’t feel like you’re the bad guy here under any circumstances.

#4

Hey Metelskater
Sorry you are having to put up with such nonsense from someone who is meant to be a friend but friends don’t behave like that, not real friends anyway. He sounds like a very toxic part of your life that you either need to deal with with a very stern and honest conversation if indeed you do want this person in your life where you make it very clear what you are willing to accept or not accept from them in a clear and calm manner or you just stop having anything to do with them. You have done nothing wrong and it’s best to keep it that way.
It’s sad that people do not turn out how you expected them too but some people just don’t get along and there may be reasons why your friend acts the way he does, it could simply be that no one has ever stood up and said that he was behaving badly, but that is not an excuse and doesn’t mean you have to accept it.
Maybe a fresh start is in order. Not all people are bad. Some of us are quite nice really.
Good luck and I wish you well.
Much love
Lisa :heart:

#5

@Metalskater1990 - You don’t sound like a terrible human being. This person obviously crossed boundaries and even tried to put all the blame on you. Not mentioning that he tried to manipulate your family… that’s just NOT okay. Well done for ending that friendship. Their attitude sound pretty toxic and very self-centered. Saying no to someone who doesn’t respect you and causes a mess in your life doesn’t make you a bad person at all. It makes you someone who know themselves, their limits, and what they agree to welcome in their life or not. It displays a lot of strength and maturity on your end.

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