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Confrontation is necessary


I’ve never been one to actively seek out confrontation. I’ve always been a really patient person, and that’s worked out well for me most of the time. I will do everything in my power to avoid confrontation, including avoiding the situation altogether. That doesn’t always work out so well. I let problems go unresolved for extended periods of time, hoping they’ll either resolve themselves or just cease to exist. If only it was that easy…
When facing a stressful situation (work, school, relationship, etc.) I have a bad habit of walking away. My anxiety reaches a certain level and I HAVE to walk away before I blow a fuse. As a young adult, I walked away from multiple jobs. I would have a bad day or series of bad days and decided that the stress just wasn’t worth it so I would leave. The thought of explaining my actions was too stressful, so I would just vanish. Knowing that I wouldn’t have to deal with confronting the issue ever again was such a huge weight off of my shoulders. It was the easy way out.
However, as an adult it’s not that simple. Bills to pay, mouths to feed, all that stuff. I’m stuck. Still trying to navigate life without confrontation, but finding myself backed into a corner. I try to organize my thoughts and find a way out that doesn’t involve upsetting anyone, but it’s just not possible. The only way I can move forward without pissing anyone off is to grind away and do my job, but I hate it. Every day I find myself at a point where I’m just like “I hate this job, I need to find something else”. So I start searching around for something comparable in pay that I think I’ll enjoy, but then THAT task stresses me out so I just go back to my existing job tasks. It’s a never-ending cycle.
Part of me says I should find a way to make the best of my current situation, and the other part knows that’s a dead end and I need to get out. I’m stuck somewhere in between… How do I break this habit? How do I push past my fear of confrontation?


Yikes. Just re-read that after I posted it. I feel like the appropriate response would be “That’s life, suck it up and deal with it. If you’re that unhappy then do something about it.” From the outside it probably just seems like I’m lazy. I’m not though. I have no problem working hard to achieve a goal, but once my anxiety and anger reach a certain level it just wipes me out. I lose all motivation. Ugh. Just reading this is already getting to me.