I just finalized my divorce from a toxic woman and it has been a difficult process of recovery emotionally and financially. I’ve been better for the most part recently but I’m also struggling with feeling like I won’t be able to have a normal healthy relationship after what I’ve been through. I know that is a lie from the enemy but sometimes that voice speaks too loudly to drown out.
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I’m sorry you are in a rough patch. I can’t cheer you up because it is not going to make you feel better. Once again, I’m sorry.
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Dear Convictions_fans
Im sorry you had to go throught a shitty divorce, toxic relationship really do drain mental heatlh. Just seeing as mental injury, just try to health it as much as possible. Whatever it yoga or working out. Make sure your healthing your mental health.
Also dont listen to lies that you ex tell you, they only blind from what most important and only cause more damage than good. In addition try see a therpist if you can and remeber you can always get help here.
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Hey there, friend! I’m so proud of you for getting yourself out of that situation, and going through with the divorce! I can imagine how worn down and exhausted all of that must have made you feel. You are so, so strong! As well, I understand how you’re worried about the trauma you experienced affecting your future relationships, but the fact that you know that that’s just a lie trying to keep you back from finding the person you were meant to be with says so much about your strength, and how much you’ve grown from this situation. You may be afraid of future relationships failing because of what you’ve been through with the past one, but how about instead of thinking about that, think about how going through can positively affect you and your future relationships. With going through all of that you have learned, matured, and grown so much. It’s in our toughest and darkest times that we learn empathy and love and sensitivity. Trust that with your next relationship, the skills you’ve acquired from walking through that desert will be put to good use- although you may not even notice at first, trust me, others will.
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Hey Dylan – man, my heart’s heavy with you. Feels so difficult to believe that you have a hope ahead of you…feels like you had your shot at love and you lost it, wasted it, and now you’re damaged goods…like you don’t deserve another shot at a healthy and happy relationship…it’s so easy in the wake of tragedy to feel untethered to the truth, tossed about in a hailstorm of lies…even when you know the truth, it’s hard to hold onto it or see it…like there’s torrential downpour of depression and loneliness whipping all around you, and you know that the lighthouse is up ahead but you can’t even see it through the storm…
I know you know the truth, but I want to remind you of it anyways, to be another voice calling out that says YES, you’re headed in the right direction…
You are worthy of love. God said, “Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies…who then is the one who condemns? No one…who can separate you from the love of God?” (Romans 8) God created us for relationship, and Jesus redeemed us from all iniquities – any claim that anyone could say, “Nope, you don’t deserve love anymore,” he wiped totally clean. You are worthy of love. It is your inheritance as a son of God, and you can’t do anything to remove it.
And the Bible also says that all good gifts come from the Father (James 1) and that if even our earthly fathers know how to give good gifts how much more will God give good gifts to those who ask (Matthew 7)? When you realize that God is the author of your worthiness, then it’s less scary to approach him to ask for him to breathe new hope and new life into your future…that you would feel the wind of His goodness pick you up and carry you forward.
I pray that He’d wrap you in His arms and speak His love to you as His child…and that He’d take your hand as you approach a new future and a new path together.
-Nate
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I can vouch and say that you absolutely can have a health relationship. My ex was extremely depressed and couldn’t give me what I needed emotionally and physically. There was a lot of emotional neglect in my relationship with him. I didn’t realize how depressed he was until he took his life a little over a year ago. My new relationship has taught me so much. Things that I thought were normal with my ex, I’ve realized are not normal. I still have a hard time thinking that when we fight, it’s going to blow up… and it never does. I still see myself flashing back to the way things were, but my current partner is so understanding of my past.
You will find someone who completely puts your previous relationship to shame. And it’s honestly so amazing.
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