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Damn this hit me hard. I struggle with many things in my life, many unplanned obstacles have created waves in the oceans I try to set still. I suppose the biggest one right now is the fact that I’m a musician and have been stuck in a living situation the past few years where I cannot practice and even if I could, I don’t know anybody capable of forming a band. It depresses me because of everything I want to do in life, I can’t. I’m just stuck constantly entertaining what I need to do and never the passions that make me feel at home.
Oh friend, I’m so sorry that you have to put aside something you absolutely love for so long. It’s awful when your heart craves for something that you know makes you feel whole, brings joy and growth to you but having no way to have access to it as much as you would like to. Some would think that this is about hobbies and just finding some replacement but it is so much more than this. It’s about what your heart is made of, what makes you feel the most vibrancy that life has to offer. It’s hard to face this wall, to be challenged with a need for patience and perseverance that are forced into your life. There has to be a new chapter unfolding, even if it may take quite some time, still. Stay strong, friend. I’m rooting for you. <3
@heartsupportvets thanks a lot. I write a lot, draw a lot, play guitar a lot more now but still can’t fulfill my true passion in drumming or vocalizing and starting a band. It’s been over 3 years since the last time I was actually able to practice and it makes me feel so stuck in the regular routine of accomplishing the needs to eat, work, sleep and repeat without any time or ability to breathe or enjoy the things that make me feel like me. I do believe a new chapter is unfolding but it’s out of my hands. Just have to keep faith and preserve and make the most of the cards I’m dealt I suppose.
Is there anything else you can do that’s musically inclined? I’m missing the ability to go to a private room and sing and play piano, like I could when I was at university. I’m coping by writing music on the computer in MuseScore 3 and watching music theory analysis videos from Adam Neely, 12Tone and 8-Bit Music Theory.