hey @anon17277947 ,
hey i think the best is for your sister to learn from her mistakes but at the same time try to be there for her. For example when Demi lovato relapsed and was sent to the hospital for moths her fans/family were there to support her from her addiction/overdoce. she had people who cared about her ,
even though it can be hard to help try to focus on you before you can focus on anyone.
Hey, thanks for sharing.
She’s lucky to have a sister like you who cares so deeply for her and wants to see her get better. A lot of people who struggle with addiction don’t even have that, so that matters. Sometimes people are going to make poor decisions with drugs and all we can do, as their friends and family, is support and love them best we can. It’s hard though. You mentioned sending her art supplies but being afraid she would just sell it for drug money, which is a legitimate thing to be afraid of. It’s important that you realize that while you love and support her, you can’t make decisions for her. If she truly wants to get better, she will make it known. And if she doesn’t, she won’t. Her health is not your responsibility. So, while it’s good that she has someone like you to be there for her, you can’t let it destroy you. You’re her sister, not her support system.
Is there any way to get into contact with her kids and their father? Maybe you can work together in figuring out a plan on how to deal with this.
I hope I’m not being too tough, it’s just not healthy for you to be dragged down by other people’s unhealthy decisions. Above all though, love her, be there for her, but don’t enable her. I hope you find peace from this situation, I hate seeing you so torn apart about this.
Hang in there friend,
That is exactly what I always have to tell my dad. Who loves her so much. But he has had to distance himself because she’s so toxic when she’s using and there is just no helping her. I can’t imagine as a parent how hard it must be to have to put some distance between you and your child. But for him, it’s important. He’s not getting younger. He just had knee replacement and is kinda bound down and has a toddler.
It’s true, my sister had to make her own decisions and she’s out right told us she doesn’t want help. Really she doesn’t want anything except money. I offered her a place to stay a handful of years ago and offered to watch her children while she worked but she didn’t want my help because she didn’t want to commit to anything that meant she had to be clean.
I support her from afar. I’ve even given her my address and phone number, as dangerous as that can be. Mostly because I never know when our mother may manipulate and pressure her into giving her my info.
She has to actively make these decisions on her own. We will always love her. There’s just not a lot to give her right now other than love and just wait for her from a safe place.
It’s jsut so hard watching her literally kill herself. When she’s in jail my heart is more content because I know she’s safe from herself and her shitty unhealthy environment she keeps putting herself in. But they keep releasing her and allowing her probation or house arrest. I really don’t know why. I hope that one day she will see this deadly path she’s going down and come clean.
And I hope with everything in me that she finds a healthy soul out there who will love her and care for her and allow her to see her worth and value. I know she hasn’t really ever had a property heslthy local Support system. I hope one day someone can reach to her.
Anyway. Thanks for responding and sharing your heart.
Your right. It’s just so scary. She’s gotta make up her own mind to get better. And I’ll always love and support her even if it has to be only from a distance for a while.
It’s hard because I know she won’t be able to recognize that love and support while she’s all mixed up. So I’m just trying to patiently wait. My heart just worries. Ya know?
Thanks Ashley ️