A friend of the family I’m staying with moved into the house this week and will stay for at least two weeks. She had a breakdown and can’t be left alone right now cause no one knows what she would do to herself. I feel so bad for her and want to help but at the same time I’m struggling really bad with my depression and anxiety right now and just last week relapsed into self harm and am still trying to get back on my feet from that. It’s tough having her around 24/7 because the things she is saying are triggering my own bad thoughts and feelings that I’m trying to get away from. I already had to take care of her during a few panic attacks and it almost triggered me into having one myself. I feel guilty and selfish for having a hard time with having her around cause I know she’s in a really bad place but at the same time I’m just struggling a lot myself. Just had to let my thoughts out here. Prayers are greatly appreciated…
@Koa19, you are such a good friend. Supporting someone who’s struggling, welcoming them even if it’s temporary, is a wonderful thing to do. Thank you for caring like you do. Really. 
But indeed: it’s tough. And you also need a safety net through all of this, especially since you are leading your own battles with self harm, depression and anxiety. It’s hard to be a caregiver when we’re struggling. Not impossible, but quite challenging indeed. though, you are not alone, even if, maybe, it feels like this sometimes.
You are not selfish. Really, really not. You’re absolutely at the opposite of what this word implies. Having a hard time, struggling, is never selfish or making you weak. You didn’t ask for any of this. It’s not your fault. We’re all only human, and we’re all only doing our best. And doing your best is enough, especially given the circumstances right now.
I’m glad you came here and let your thoughts out. There is a balance to find here between your needs and your friend’s needs. Communicating with them, as much as possible, with as much honesty as possible, could be very helpful for both of you. There’s a common ground for both of you here: the love, care and trust you have for each other. You both have the right to be honest with each other so you can learn to progress together, and not at the expense of someone, and without having to feel guilty for triggering each other. You can create, together, your own environment, pace, set some kind of common rules so you can both be okay through all of this.
This community is also here for you. Keep reaching out as much as you need. Keep sharing. Keep expressing yourself. You’ll always be welcomed as you are, without an once of judgment.
I’m thinking of you. And I’m sending all the virtual hugs to you.