Disability not approved

[disabledmetalfan]

So on Friday I got the letter from social security over disability. I recently had a court hearing over disability and I am already on SSI so that is one support but it isnt the full support of our state offers. This letter was the determination I had been hoping to get soon. Sadly it was not the answer I was hoping for. Sadly it was found unfavorable for the major type of disability and the reasons were so way off. I have been feeling at such a loss. I was so confident in the chances that I would be able to get it and my lawyer proved to beyond a point that I was unable to do the jobs that had been suggested. I am marked as disabled under the same ways of finding people disabled so I dont get it. I feel as if what I am fighting for is just useless. I had multiple of the doctors quotes were not what happened in the sessions with them. They lied and claimed things that didnt happen like one was that I didnt even come to the appointment with a sight cane but I had they guy even asked to see it so I got it out for him. I walked out of his office with it and using it. I went to other doctors appointments for them with it and used it. Also it was like seriously you SAW MY SIGHT CANE (a cane for the blind aka me). It was so stressful to realize that I didnt get approved over things that were claimed but not true. I was trying so hard to get what I needed and now it feels like people are stopping me from a huge need and a big goal to help me be able to do other things in my life. I was counting on that disability to be able to survive basically like needs. Now I dont have that. I have struggled for a long time to accept stuff. To accept that I cant do this. To accept that I am seen for the needs I have. I have been stressing over the fact that even for someone that is in medical fields my health and my things are unseen. It has been horrible on me mentally because I really want to be able to support myself to be able to be enough and this just hurt me. I feel like something large I have been fight for over 3 years ended again in a bad way. Maybe I am just keeping myself in a place that wont change but yet I am more than others think I am. I have been struggling since Friday when I got the letter from them. I am struggling to feel like I am seen. It isnt an easy thing to ask myself what direction now. I am very disheartened honestly.

I dont know my next step and I hate that. I also dont know what this means for the future and the fact I cant have a good enough income to go far. I have been struggling to not be extremely sad and down and just keep fighting. On Friday I just wanted to give up completely. Maybe I dont deserve to be any better. It has been a very big struggle on me. Thank you for reading what most wont understand and I am grateful for that.

Thanks
Ash

[ThePhantom0288]

I assume you already have Legal representation helping you but if not you should reach out to someone that specializes in Disability and see if they can help you appeal to your state. Don’t give Up!

[disabledmetalfan]

Yes I do have someone we had a court hearing. I have found a group here in AZ that focuses on disability cases and hearings.

Ash

[Micro]

Dear Ash,

I’m so very sorry that what you was hoping for didn’t happen. And not just for the way you wanted it to happen, but also for the way it should have been. You’ve been battling so hard for this. You’ve been doing what was required, what was asked. You saw doctors, you were on court and followed that process all along. It’s already painful and draining in itself, yet you did it. You also worked hard on yourself to learn to be more at peace with your situation and your own needs. And as a result the message that is sent to you is to invalidate rights that you actually own. That’s not fair. Even more because it’s based on false claimings from doctors there. What do they gain by doing that? That’s not how it should be, especially in a space where truth and honesty should be the rule.

Given the circumstances, how you feel makes really, really sense, friend, and I can’t help but relate to the feelings you describe. Just like you, not so long ago, I received some news about an official decision that I was waiting for. I didn’t expect a lot from it, still part of me was hoping for a different outcome because I wanted to believe that, for once, something good could happen - unfortunately that wasn’t the case. It’s disheartening to feel unseen while you know what it costed you to put yourself out there and actually share your voice. You know firsthand the hours of second-guessing, of hurt and fears that it implied. Ash, know that even if those people delivered a decision that was the opposite of what you deserve, your efforts and all the energy you invest in that process are not left unseen. I see you right now. I see your strength and I have no doubt that it has inspired many of the people who have the privilege to support you through all of this.

You are such a warrior, friend. You didn’t go through all of this to let that decision be a stop. If you don’t know what’s your next step for the moment, then maybe right now is just a time to process and digest those news, at your own pace. You are also supported through all of this and you can rely on both this group you mentioned and the people who have been part of this with you to guide you in times to come.

You deserve to get better. You deserve to have access to rights that you legitimately can claim. What this decision says isn’t about you, your needs, your rights or your worth. It only shows how much the way we function as a society is very messed up and unfair sometimes. I’m aware that this brings a whole lot of doubts and, somehow, some kind of spiritual grief for things we want to believe in. But this is not going to put you down, Ash, and it’s certainly not going to take the best of your heart.

We’re in this with you, friend. Always. Please stay connected with your friends and in this community as well while processing those news. I’m currently going through a similar grief, and I know how much this kind of experience can isolate us with plenty of dark thoughts. You are not alone, Ash. You are not worthless. You are not beyond hope or help. You are worthy of good things, love and support, in as many ways that you’d judge as being what you need.

Sending tons of hugs your way.