I have been best friends with my best friend for two-three years. She’s very tiny for her age and in general very skinny. In no way am I trying to skinny shame her. When I first met her, I noticed that she ate very little or got full very easily. I ignored it and assumed that it was just her not being hungry. She even acknowledged that she has symptoms of anorexia, but she doesn’t.
For example, she’ll get full after eating so little. One time, we bought some sugar cookies. You know, those one that you either love or hate. She got full after eating HALF of it. And before that she hadn’t eaten anything, we had been at an art class together.
But here are some things to remember. She is a year younger than me, her twin brother is also short, she will eat ‘unhealthy’ foods at an equal pace as ‘healthy’ foods, but depending on the day she wont eat much. She works out at night time and morning, but her morning workout isn’t really a workout, it’s more of a stretch. Shes also could be considered underweight for her age.
Do you think she has an eating disorder? If so, I might try to ask her/her mom about it.
Edit: This is an edit I added a day later because I forgot to add something. She gets very cold easily, and will always be wearing pants. A lot. She’ll sometimes wear shorts but mostly pants. Even in summer, she’ll wear sweatpants. But she still wears short sleeves shirts/shorts sometimes.
I think it is really great you care so much about your best friend! I don’t know if she might have an eating disorder, that is hard to distinguish from the things you describe.
If somebody is tiny and skinny, does not eat much and does workouts this is not necessarily a sign of an eating disorder. We are all built differently and we all have different appetites. Your friend might just be tiny and skinny with not such a big appetite and being asked if they have an eating disorder could be very painful for them.
I don’t see symptoms that your friend is totally focused on their appearance or their food intake or that the workouts are obsessive. They also don’t seem to hate the way they look or cut out certain foods. But maybe you did not describe everything you see that makes you worry about your friend. So I looked up a site for you to check if your friend might have some of the symptoms of an eating disorder.
Hey on and off, I can understand your concerns for your friend, it’s not easy to see people we love struggle and feel uncomfortable or unsafe in their own bodies.
It can be a tricky topic to address and to understand what is going on for the person we are concerned about.
One thing I might offer to you being a supportive friend to someone who appears to be struggling, maybe having a quiet time with your friend to let them know that they can share and feel safe.
Personally I would try to avoid bringing up weight or food as that can make some people feel uncomfortable but you’ve mentioned a few things you’ve noticed with your friend.
You’ve noticed how cold she seems to be and how she works out a lot, and you could potentially ask her if she’s concerned about health.
Hopefully if she starts to feel comfortable sharing some things you can then redirect her to some resources. Because as much as we love and support our friends, it can be very scary and hard being the sole person they turn to for support
As an example here is a great site for resources
As our friends said above, you are a good friend for caring about her the way you do! Not everyone would care about tiny signs like this and wonder if the person in front of them is doing okay.
In my humble opinion, diagnosing someone can be very risky, especially about disorders like this because not everyone is going to experiment it the same way, and because everyone’s biology is different. Some people need to eat more to have the same energy than someone who would eat much less. Ultimately, there can be warning signs, but it rarely is just about food when it comes to eating disorders. Your friend could for example have health issues that are non related to any emotional suffering, but would condition her hunger and feelings of satiety.
If you want to approach it, I would encourage you to simply be a friend for her and show that you are present, without forcing any concern on her. If it was an eating disorder, there can be a lot of shame associated to it, and sometimes being confronted to it has adverse effects.
Overall, I would encourage you to not diagnose but instead to focus on being present and letting her know that you are here if she needs support. Maybe one day she would open up about her struggles, or maybe she wouldn’t because she doesn’t have any particular struggle with food. Ultimately, it will be difficult to know until she has a health check up and can reflect on her eating habits.
