Lately I have been feeling like I present well. I can fit in, make you comfortable and seem to be there myself. But, as time goes on, my appeal fades, and everyone just realizes that I am nothing special. And I was a waste of time. Like a yard sign you find at the dollar store. Bright and shiny and “perfect” but after the first rain: warped, rusted, trash.
How do you add value to a dollar store item? You really can’t. How do you fix it once it is broken? You don’t. Dollar store items are either consumable or disposable. Maybe sometimes they are both. Actually, that is a better way to describe how I am feeling. I’m all used up. Now I am trash. Consumed. All the cheap crap that was inside me has been used and now I am destined for the landfill.
Hello!
I hope that you remember that you are uniquely you, and no one has the same experiences, talents, gifts, and personality as you do! All these small qualities make you, you! I think at the beginning of every relationship or friendship people all tend to try to appeal more to the other person they do not know very well at first. Everyone tries to make that good first impression, and after that, the true you comes out. And we all make mistakes and are not perfect. However lately we live in a world of social media were a lot of people present well in pictures. In stating this I am stating you are not worthless or trash. You have lots of great potentials! God has made you a masterpiece! God has called you to be more than a conquer through him! I do not know what makes you feel this way but just remember whenever thoughts like that come into your mind you say the opposite! If you feel like your trash, try saying something that rebuts that thought in your mind, for example, you can say you are wonderfully made.
On a personal note, I don’t know what your beliefs are but I know God has helped me change the way I felt about myself. Continuously remembering that Jesus loves me so much even while knowing everything I have done, is amazing. He loved us so much that he thought we were worth saving. And he thought that about everyone in the world. John 3:16 " For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son that whoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life." I’m not sure if you know that already or if that was just a reminder, but you are loved and you are not worthless. All we can do is be the best version of us, and better ourselves each day by not making the same mistakes, and through faith in Jesus.
Hi @Nothing-Special - Welcome to Heartsupport, we are so glad you are here.
Your story is really heartbreaking. I want to pour love over you… and remind you how important and lovely you are. I don’t have to know you, to know you are worth it. A unique and lovely human being. You are not trash, consumable or disposable. You are a breathing, treasured life. It is a real shame that this has not been reflected back to you by the people around you, and that is another reason I am so glad you are here.
It is okay to feel the way you do. Our hearts sometime’s believe the lies of the world and it can really break us down and feel like it reduces our value, but our thoughts and feelings about ourselves don’t make us less than.
I am really glad you are here, and if there is anything we can do to support you we want to be that for you. Hold fast friend.
That’s a lot of self-hatred. My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry you’ve been feeling like this about yourself… You are so far from just being disposable. You’re a human being with all you uniqueness. You deserve respect. And if people around you didn’t make you feel like you have value and are worthy of love, then those people are not the right ones to you.
You are not trash. You are not worthless. You are not meant to be used or please others. You are meant to be you. And who you are is enough.
I’ve been telling myself for too many years that if people start to really know me, then they would just leave as I keep carrying a similar feeling of being unlovable. So I tend to hide, through silence or too much shyness. But that’s not fair to myself. Just like trying to be someone you’re not wouldn’t be fair to yourself. Easier said than done, I know… It takes practice, and perseverance for sure. Also to surround ourselves with the right people. Well, know that this community is a safe place and a good start for this.
This energy against yourself can be turned in something positive for you. Some eager to live, to stand up for yourself. You are beautiful as you are. Regardless of what you are going through. Regardless of how you perceive yourself. Sometimes our mind tricks us and we can believe a lot of negative things about ourselves… but it doesn’t mean it’s true.
Right now I see someone who’s been brave enough to share what’s in their heart. You are seen. You are heard. You are respected. You are loved, truly.
Hold fast friend.