For the past week or maybe more, all i’ve done everyday is wake up, cry, lay in bed, eat, cry again, sleep, repeat. I usually end up crying all day. I don’t want to though… I hate this feeling, I hate it so much but at the same time, I know i’ll miss it when it’s gone. I keep trying to silently ask people I know for help but none of them want to… It’s understandable. I don’t really want to burden them either which is why I don’t directly ask. Just a few nice things to be said about me or something would go a long way though… but nobody could even do that… whatever… It’s what I deserve, right? If i’m a shitty enough person for nobody, not a single fucking person, to even have one nice thing to say about me, then I probably deserve to feel the way I do. I just want to fucking die but I cant and I don’t want to at the same time. I’m just over everything. Somebody please just help me… please
I understand the way it is that you hate it, but you would miss it when it’s gone. I’m pretty sure most people don’t though. Also, I don’t know why nobody would ever say anything nice to you. They probably say it indirectly all the time. Even “I care about you” is a nice thing to say to somebody,
You are definitely not a shitty person. I want to give you all I can, but I’m not sure how to make you feel better. I know what feeling icky is like and i know that you feel it more extreme than I ever did But let me tell you. The icky will feel like hell, but hell ends.
I think you need a hug. You are too good for anybody to treat you like trash and I know that for sure. I have seen you displaying personality.
I feel despair right now. I need to show you this.
You feelings are valid. They are too valid and you are too real. I recognise you as an actual person and I want to actually try to help you. I am going to try to do my best. There is no reason that people shouldn’t say nice things to you and I’m serious. I understand how you could not really use your imagination when you feel like that. I feel like there is something revolutionary I could tell you, but I can’t figure out what it is.
You are really a good person.
also, please read this poem:
I just think you should read it:
Summer in the hills
Those hazy days I do remember
We were running still
Had the whole world at our feet
Watching seasons change
Our roads were lined with adventure
Mountains in the way
Couldn’t keep us from the sea
Here we stand open arms
This is home where we are
Ever strong in the world that we made
I still hear you in the breeze
See your shadows in the trees
Holding on, memories never change
I don’t remember who wrote it…
It just had a permanent impact on me.
I heard about how your parents are trying to force religion on you.
I think it’s okay to not believe in God.
You don’t deserve what you’re going through. Those people who don’t care? Screw them. If you ask someone for help and they just turn you down without a second thought, they don’t deserve someone as good as you. And you don’t deserve someone as bad as them.
While you may be in so much pain, I think I get what you mean when you say you’ll miss this feeling. You feel so much better and safer crying on your own away from those people. But I think what you really desire is freedom. You want to get away from all this. You want to die if you’re forced to live like this. But you just need the strength to get away.
I think this song will help you realize this. I was listening to this while reading this, and I feel like the lyrics really speak to your situation. Stuck with so much pain, and just wanting to get away from this hell. If you feel like it, have a listen: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4DOhR4hfKa8
Stay strong. 
Honestly? Thank you. Just for the fact that you would to have either went through my posts to find out about that religion thing or just remembered it, either way, it genuinely means a lot. So, thank you for caring that much.
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