I’ve dealt with depression for about 5 - 6 years and everything’s been going ok i guess for right now but i’ve fallen back into the endless pit of depression and now I don’t know how the hell i’m supposed to get myself out. I mean i found a group by the name of BTS, they’ve helped get my life together and raise my self confidence but I still wound up resorting back to cutting and this is kinda all due to my parents putting too much on me and them not letting me be myself and not accepting me as LGBTQ+, it’s becoming too much and sometimes i think im not gonna be able to survive through this year, i’m ready to just end it all but i don’t want my death to be a burden on my family, friends or my boyfriend, HELP ME PLEASE
3 Likes
You have been dealing with depression for 5 or 6 years? Wow you are a strong warrior; I admire your fight Spirit.
I am really sorry that you are feeling that way again, but think that you have been dealing with depression around so many years and you won that fight. And I really hope that this fight that you are having you will win too.
My advice will be, that maybe you should try to speak to your parents about what are you feeling and that their behaviour is hurting you, if they love you they will listen and accept you for who you are.
And please dont try anything that can put your life in danger and I know isnt easy but dont think about putting your life in danger because you dont deserve to be having those thought, you deserve to be happy and be living the live like you always wanted, you deserve love.
I really hope that you will be able to win this fight and finally being happy and living the life you really deserve. And know that you have Heartsupport community with you and that we love and care about you.
I believe in you 
Take care
2 Likes
I can’t speak from experience on living LGBTQ+ with no support, but what I’ve heard echoed over and over is IT GETS BETTER. When you’re able to find people that love you and support you for who you are, they become your family. When your parents see how happy you become living your best life, I hope they will come to accept you as you are. If not, it’s their loss. The next year might seem like an eternity, but in the grand scheme of an average 80-year lifespan it’s just a moment in your life. IT GETS BETTER. Be strong and remember who you are. You may not be able to fully express yourself now, but that day is coming, and when it arrives the wait will have been worth it and the past will have no more bearing on your present.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” --Oscar Wilde.
2 Likes
Hi friend - Please hang in there. Do you know why you have fallen back into depression? Do you know what helped you climb out in the past? I am so sorry that you are feeling pressure from your parents and that also it sounds like they are not accepting you as you are.
3 Likes
Thank you so much, although they are very homophobic and transphobic and make cruel jokes about the lgbtq+ community in general. I really appreciate the feedback!
1 Like
Hang in there friend, brighter days are ahead.
I’m sorry your parents make this kind of jokes and put such pressure on your shoulders. They should respect you. Who you are and how you define yourself.
It’s hard to feel like your own parents aren’t able to accept you just as you are. I wish they would be more open-minded friend, and I hope it’s only a matter of time before they understand. There will be a moment in your life when you’ll be on your own feet and make the choices that fulfills you. Hopefully, when they will see you being happy, they will learn to put aside their own representations and review their priorities.
Regarding your depression, I can only echo our friends here: you’re strong. It may feel like an endless pit, but it’s not. You’ve been battling against this for a long time now. You mention this group and how they helped you, which I’m really glad to hear! Besides this, maybe you can look back to what was helpful to you along this journey. What resources you used to keep your head above water. Your friends? A passion or a hobby? Healthy habits? You are not out of resources. You have inner strengths, knowledge, capacities that will keep being helpful to you to get back on your feet.
Also, as you mentioned cutting, know that in the HS resources there’s a workbook on self-harm named “ReWrite”. It could be interesting for you to check on it : https://heartsupport.com/resources/
We’re with you in this. You’ll get through it. And don’t forget that you are worthy of love and respect.
Sending love your way.
2 Likes
Hi friend. I can relate to a lot of this. When I was younger, trying to find acceptance when coming out in the LGTBQ community was so hard. My family wasn’t always very supportive and one of my friends didn’t even want to hug me anymore. But I also had a lot of people around me who loved and accepted me. It’s always hard when people are not very accepting of who we are and sadly there is always going to be someone who doesn’t around. But that doesn’t take away from your worth and value my friend nor does it mean that you aren’t deserving of love.
Depression is hard. I have fought it for so many years. Recently started reading through Dwarf Planet, a book here by one of the heart support guys. It’s a guide and work book through depression. I am actually going to work through it with another friend here on heart support. The last couple days I’ve sat down with it and just really tried to be honest with myself and let myself embrace the process it’s taking me through. There is also one called “ReWrite” that is a book and guide through self harm. Maybe this could be of help to you too
They really are amazing resources. Here’s a Link
Maybe you can try to talk more to your parents about what you are going through and maybe you can see if they can help you set up with some therapy. Honestly, I know it can be scary but it can make such a huge difference.
Friend. I just want you to know that you matter! You are more important than you may be feeling right now. And everything you have shared here is valid. I think it’s really an amazing thing that you found the courage to talk about it and reach out. That’s huge. It’s not always easy. And I hope that you’re able to find the strength and courage to keep reaching out to your family so you can get the help and support you need.
I’m sending you so much love friend
- Kitty